KMS Part 2

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 
Peace be upon Prophet Muhammad, his companions and family :)


First day. Rasa mcm Doctor jap hihi


Me Fact : Aku tak dapat tukar modul pilihan aku. Modul tu mcm course ah.
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Dekat sini takda org akan tolong kau bangun. Kau bangun sendiri.
Dekat sini takda org nak peluk kau kalau kau nangis. Kau peluk lutut sendiri, kau nangis.
Dekat sini takda orang nk lapkan air mata kau. Kau lap sendiri.
Dekat sini takda org akan kesian kan kau. Kesian la dekat diri sendiri.
Dekat sini kau balik kelas, kau nangis dkt katil kau, kau tutup muka dgn Teddy, takda sapa peduli.
Dekat sini org lain berfoya-foya, kau pilih jalan kau sendiri.
Dekat sini org lain tak balas senyuman kau, jgn peduli.
Dekat sini kau kena compete. Sapa ckp?
Dekat sini semua susah. Sapa suruh kau manja?
Dekat sini tkda kesenangan mcm dkt Shah Alam, your home sweet home. Hadap la kau sorg2.
Dekat sini everyday kena study. Bagus, rasa kan.
Dekat sini semua buat hal sendiri. Jgn kacau hidup org.
Dekat sini kau kena struggle nak dpt PNGK 3.6 above. Berangan la nk dpt 4 flat.
Dekat sini makanan sedap. Sila bersyukur.
Dekat sini 2 tahun je. Tolong sabar.
Ada reason kau ke sini.


Before my first class, early in the morning, waiting for everyone outside the tutorial room..




Bismillah..
Harini hari first aku pergi kelas. Awal pagi aku bangun. Gemuruh. Cehhh. Sepatutnya aku nak tukar modul. Drpd modul 2 ke modul 3. Dlm erti kata lain, dr modul yg tkda bio tp ada sains komputer kpd modul yg ada bio tp tkda fizik dan ada sains komputer. 10am masa tu, berderai air mata aku dlm bilik lecturers. Mana taknya, on the dot depa reject aku dpn org lain.I can see real life here -____-

Mood aku ke laut lepastu. Aku tahan je air mata masa call Mak Ayah. Wishing someone was there beside me. Well, at least, to distract me. I was hoping that none of my best friends who are struggling at matrix feel the way I feel. Yes, today, my dream crashed. Sayonara to medical world. Sayonara..

I walked to my room with hopes shattered. I was bewildered. How am I going to survive here? Everyone is so 'okay' -_____- Why is it so hard to focus on my objectives, I choose matrix, I shall bear this thing. To tell you the truth, I just wanna give up everything and just go home. Sleep and eat and lalala -____-

I cry myself to sleep after coming back from classes. I was too scared to share my tears with my roommates. I don't want to be a trouble. I just let them sleep and rest. Then, I hugged Teddy and just cry.. Ya Allahhh..

Ini baru seminggu, aku tak tahu setahun mcm mana. Bulan lapan dh exam. UPS is like mid-sem test. Very very vital. Carry 10% for final exam (PSPM). 10% is 40 marks. So far, the subjects I am taking for this semester is Physics, Chemistry, English, Maths and Computer Science. Perhaps, aiming for 4 flat is too much, but whatever the hurdles are, everyone is reaching there. May Allah be with us.

I am coaxing myself day by day. Trying to settle in here in KMS.
I don't know whether will I survive or not..
Yes, I am at the point where I am scared and paranoid of how am I going settle in.
Ya Allah :'(

Will be updating soon, when I have the strength..
Assalammualaikum :')

Comments

Hanif Shah said…
hahaha,alahai comelnya dia jadi doktor :P
Nesayang said…
aippppppppp! HAHA
aku sentiasa berada di belakang kau. sokong kau. aku nak sahabat2 aku berjaya. aku sudi tolong apa2 yang aku boleh :)

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