Move On, Please?
POST INI SANGAT PANJANG.
It's 12.37am and I cant sleep though my back hurts so bad like I carry a 9-month baby and my eyes hurt like they're screamin in agony. Yes, my body is tired but my brain refused to relax. These past few days (in fact, months), my relationship has been disrespected by some people. Some left after further discussions but that youknowwho just wont budge.
I frankly dont fathom what is it with me or about me that made youknowwho stranded and still cant move on. Perhaps I was the loveliest of all youknowwho's exes hahahaha!
I respect youknowwho for what he held on his past. His untamed behaviour, his history and sorts. When the society still has bad perceptions about him (at that time when I was still his gf), I stand to defend the idea that he has changed though I secretly am disappointed with the truth. Vulgar words, offensive remarks, deep-pain sarcasms were still there. Ever since I knew him, I tried my very best to respect him and be patient. Turned out those patience worth nothing. Somebody has to go and that's me.
Not that I disrespect who he was but it's the disappointment I had towards the attitude that he claimed to be "has-changed" that annoyed the hell out of me. Has-changed? Yeah a bit, not overall.
Digest my twisted statement there.
I didnt pointed out those stuffs I said in Instagram to disrespect who he was. Do I need to write about who he was? No, I dont, bcz that is disrespecting.
Some people change to be more islamic but forgot about manners. Forgot about winning those hearts that they wish to help. Humanbeings need wise psychology, yo.
I am writing this to defend my lover, Adam.
He is a working man. He is an adult. He wakes up before dawn, get ready for work and come home after dusk. At certain times, he works 7 days a week. He is a man that I know, who is a family-man. The one who honors his family and those who love him so dearly. He works day and night for his family and those he loves.
I personally couldnt imagine myself if I were to be at his place. My time will rise but at this moment, only Adam and God knows how tiring it is to be a working man. Working and studying are two different things. These two verbs will somehow make us different people of different stages of life. Thus, making it obvious that one cant simply make self-centered conclusion.
Doesnt mean a workaholic guy deny or neglect his obligation towards his religion. Going to work is a part of ibadah. I believe Adam goes to work everyday and only he knows his niat and aims.
Nobody likes to be questioned about the niat. It's freaking offensive. Imagine yourself being questioned. But, humans judge and I cant be excepted too. But when you wanted to provoke, please, do like you have been to school or have been through phases of life that you actually learnt something. Show that you got brain.
The first assault was from youknowwho. What about people's sensitivity? Perhaps youknowwho dont care. Perhaps he thinks disrespecting other people's relationship is nothing. It brings no benefit to him as long as he is happy and satisfied.
Sensitivity is a subjective issue, which is obvious that it is different if you were to ask different people. Some might just ignore, some stand for their rights.
If I am a guy and I have a gf and my gf's ex is posting some mushy stuffs about my gf etc, I feel like "dude, whats wrong with you? Move on, get a life, she's mine now".
You see, I am his gf NOW. Maybe youknowwho's brain cant really intepret that. I believe no person (in my situation) likes when an ex is acting like that.
I moved on and didnt care about youknowwho's undertakings bcz I wanted him to do the same. Leave me alone. Stop posting stuffs that are related to the past (of our relationship). Erase me from his mind, get a life. I was offended by his behaviour that I couldnt stand it anymore and I had to leave at that time. Dont expect a girl to stay with a man who know not how to be a grown up man. Be realistic. No girl will put up with such guy. Thats me.
Stop acting like posting pictures of us is okay, tweeting mushy stuffs about me is okay. It's not.
I disgust such demeanor. Youknowwho have been disrespecting my sensitivity since old days. Youknowwho never cares. He only cares when I have walked away and didnt return.
It has been almost 2 years since I left youknowwho.
I have a found a guy that I adore so much. The guy who can look after me when Im down or when Im sick. The guy who respect my family and friends. The guy who work hard and convince me to study hard too bcz we're heading to OUR future together. The guy who guide me to care about future. The guide who would never throw tantrums or vulgar words to me. The guy who read my mind and always came up with mutual ideas and understandings with me. And I love him. His name is Adam Rafiuddin. Period.
Leave me and those pathetic demeanors. Get a new girl, youknowwho. Bcz the one who writes this post aint interested anymore. (Thats me).
Adam and I might be harsh at times and it's bcz we cant be reckless to defend our relationship. We had to say things directly. However we both respect people's history. The assault was aimed at us, in the first place. Our sensitivity has been intruded ever since. Adam and I are just pacing toward something much realistic which is a relationship where the both love birds help each other to be better and it's them against the world and those disturbances.
Just leave us with our stories, will you? We dont need tresspasers. Do whatever you wanna do with your life. But quit saying stuffs about what has ended 2 years ago. It's disturbing.
Move on, youknowwho. You are two years behind.