I talked about love Part 2.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

WARNING : POST YG SUPERRRRR PANJANG. BEAR WITH ME.


Oh yes, Adam aku tak short-list kan sebab well... dia kan tak wujud, (if you read my previousss posts). So, ini je lah jejaka-jejaka yg pernah wujud dlm hati aku. (Tipu) HAHAHAHA. Ada la dulu masa aku form 2, aku minat nak mati dgn senior ni named F. Si F ni mmg tahu la aku minat dkt dia. Aku rasa time tu last aku minat gila dkt seorang lelaki. Ewah. Sbb F tu tak minat dkt aku balik (wtf statement ni hahaha), and dia suka senior lain yg super hot and dorg rapat. So aku back off. Perit siot.

 Tu last lah aku minat dtk lelaki. I mean, I started everything. The first text etc. 
Apesal aku tak fight utk win hati F? Boleh je tapi masalahnya akak tu hot gila, aku still aku, very the simple one, no fame, nothing. Plus, cukup dah kot aku yg started everything, if F taknak, aku dah patut back off dah hahaha. Sbb in this cliche society, bila girls yg bukak step, there's pandangan sinis. Aku pun tak blh disagree benda tu sbb its majority idea. Tp if there is a guy who reads my blog, aku nak ckp dgn hangpa lelaki-lelaki kayu ni, kalau ada girl yg minat kat hangpa, bukak step utk hangpa, bahasa mudah ngorat hangpa la, hangpa ni bertuah tau dak? Tak semua perempuan have guts to speak up mcm kami. Rare kot. Igt senang nak dapat?

Tp aku faham, ada certain jejaka yg rasa tak selesa bila girls bukak step dulu. Terserah. Pendapat masing-masing. Aku tak rasa both ways salah. Sbb aku suka fikir realistik. Nanti kau kahwin, kau tak boleh expect laki kau je buat surprise and sweet things just like how he ngorat you in the beginning. It works both ways since the beginning. Bila kahwin nanti, ada masalah, bergaduh, not only your husband has to make the effort to pujuk, but we as woman pun kena pujuk. Takdak jatuh air muka la pujuk suami. But surely this doesnt apply bila kau bangsat, laki kau pun bangsat. Ha pegi mereput. Pd aku, if both parties are able to give and take since the beginning, its a freakin good sign.

hell yes, easier said than done. AHAHAHA.

As I grow up, aku sedar what love literally means. Love is feelings that you have for someone whose smile is your reason to keep going strong. Love is when you looked at someone and you feel at ease. Love is when you respect without being asked to. Love is whatever you want to define.

One of it is, love comes with commitments. After love comes (yizlamik sikit) akad nikah, and then real duties to develop ummat Nabi Muhammad SAW. After doing readings here and there and experiencing love for quite a few times, aku sedar yg Islam tak syorkan cinta sebelum nikah or mendekati zina ni dgn musabab yg padu.

Mana mungkin ummat baginda SAW yg soleh dan solehah boleh dibina drpd sorang ibu dan ayah yg tak memahami Islam itu sendiri, apatah lagi membelakangkan hukum Dia. Ini belum ckp psl solat lima waktu. Ah, solat awal waktu lagi payah. Fail semua ni. Jgn berangan nak cinta anak org.

Lemahnya ummat Islam skrg bermula dr institusi kekeluargaan yg lemah dari akar umbinya, that is, rumah sendiri, keluarga sendiri. Aku tahu apa aku ckp ni cliche shit yg kau dgr byk kali ustazah ckp dlm kelas. But that is our problem, telinga ada dua, tak tau belah mana yg function. 

So maybe, it is time utk tanya diri sendiri, adakah aku penyumbang kpd kemakmuran dan kepaduan iman ummat baginda SAW pd masa akan dtg (read: anak sendiri). Tanya lagi, kalau aku tak mampu nak berubah skrg, ada ke masa nak berubah in future nanti? Will I be able to become a cool mom? or even dad? Do I have what it takes to spread Islam in my family as it is my duty? 

This actually means, byk lagi benda aku kena buat sebelum bercinta ni. Komitmen lain lebih byk menanti. Ilmu byk lagi kena cari. Ada seorang lelaki yg cukup charming di hati aku berada di sisi mmg syok. Seronok ada geng nak ke sana sini together. You know, it's us against the world kinda things. Ey, aku pernah rasa la ada bf, aku fhm butterflies dan segala jenis animals in your stomach feelings tu. Selebihnya tak payah cite. Zaman jahiliah jgn dikenang. 

Pintu hati aku dibuka utk faham semua ni lepas aku pinjam buku Ika masa dkt matriks dulu. Tajuk dia AKU TERIMA NIKAHNYA by ustaz hasrizal. Serious realistik and padu buku ni. Buku yg buat kau sedar tanggungjawab yg dtg sekali dgn fitrah cinta antara seorang lelaki dan perempuan baik sebelum or selepas nikah.

We all make mistakes, now and nanti. Even when we are parents ourselves.

I ditched my last relationship because I realize the degree of importance of certain parts in my life. Islamically, things arent supposed to be there in the first place. Falling in love before or after marriage could be costly but one is with His blessing and the other is not. Not that I say, aku taknak bercinta dah pasni. Fuxk cinta kononnya hahahaha. Ini bullshit. Cinta tu fitrah. I cant escape from falling in love.

But I hope I am wise enough to fall in love again next time. In more proper way, as a more proper anisah for/with a proper decent guy who actually respect perintah Dia. Mak selalu kata kalau aku buat perangai, dapat laki pun yg buat perangai. So aku konklusikan, aku comel maka aku dpt laki pun comel nanti HAHAHAHA.

Ya anak-anak, selagi boleh utamakan benda lain drpd fall in love skrg ni, utamakan. Study, clubs, sports, hobby, volunteer works etc. Ye, mmg sambil bercinta boleh je buat semua ni tapi speaking to myself, I'll get hanyut and very clingy and takda vision. Leka. I dont see that very helping, you know. 

Tapi tu lah, sembang kencang dari td, Tuhan jugak yg susun timing jodoh nak menyapa. Mana tau mmg jodoh aku tgh baca blog ni. Mungkin dia boleh sengih skrg HAHAHAHA k tak.

Jodoh tu caturan Tuhan. Se-workaholic mana pun that lady is, she cant escape God's plan. But she can make decision. Hahaha aku sembang kencang, kalau hati ni terjatuh cinta lagi nanti, haaa tau la menggelabah mcm mana -__- oh mungkin ada suami nanti aku tak leka kot. Ye la, cinta halal kan. Setan tak bergayut. HAHAHAHAHA WTF IS THIS..

Aku nak ucapkan tahniah sbb kau dah baca sampai sini. Semoga kau sebagai reader blog ni yg setia (ke?) dpt mendefinasikan cinta sendiri. It's freakin subjective. Jgn bash aku. Kalau kau tgh bercinta skrg, aku ucapkan good luck. Jgn mereput. Jgn jd bangang dan selfish. Jgn lupa kau ada partner, bukan hidup sorg, jgn biar dia tunggu mcm kayu.

Buat yg masih single ataupun yg me-single-kan diri mcm aku, lagi tebal good luck aku ucapkan hahahaha. Rasa la kau sakit tgk org bercinta sini sana. Rasa la kau ingin dikasihi tp yg lain harus mendahului. Rasa lah kau merindui dlm diam dan dari jauh. Selamat dtg ke dunia org single. HAHAHA.

Well, I still have countries to visit, vlogs to make, maybe books or short stories to publish, parents to spend time with, talent to polish, degree studies to settle down, weights to cut down, money to save up, new friends to make, new fun rides to try etc... see? so many other things to settle down. I am a busy person, indeed. *flip tudung*

Semoga aku tak tersedak terkejut bila jodoh dtg menyapa...
"hi nisa, will you be my maid? eh silap.. wife.. really, i mean, wife. will you?"


You know, they say, the best man wins.
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Thank you for reading!
Have a nice day! ♥

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