Showing posts from April, 2017


Aku masih lagi struggle melawan diri procrastinate dgn thesis writing. Ada 5 chapter nak kena buat. Aku personally rasa chapter paling sakit is chapter 2 (literature review) and chapter 4 (data analysis). Tbh, aku baru siap 80% siap chapter 1. Padahal first meet dgn advisor was March 17 haritu. Patutnya dah siap sampai chapter 3 sekarang ni.

Bayangkan berapa banyak aku procrastinate...

Minggu ni baru aku nak catch up balik sebab aku aim sebelum 12 May, siap lengkap chapter 1, 2, questionnaire and intro chapter 3.

Aku pun tak faham kenapa lah uitm ni satu kan intern dgn thesis. Kenapa lah tak thesis dulu baru intern. Penat jugak sebenarnya. Tapi bila aku fikir, orang lain boleh siap sampai 3 chapters, siap kena reject 2-3 kali, aku nak bagi alasan apa kan?

Semoga by isnin ni aku siap chapter 1 & half chapter 2. Tak boleh jadi betul kau ni anisah.

Theoretical framework baru jumpa satu je. Masih tak kukuh. Acano ni?

Kata nak grad on time?

Maka harus lah aku rapatkan diri lebih lagi …

Time zone.

My supervisor told me today that my time will come. The time will come when one day I will have my own paycheck and I will start settling stuffs on my own, the bills, the shopping, the credit card and all.

All I had in my mind at time was to be able to shop at IKEA as much as she did today for her rented apartment.

I love shopping for that kinda stuffs. I imagine having my own apartment and the privilege to decorate it.

Soon the time will come and when it arrives, I hope I'll be just fine.

I learnt so much today. God bless my supervisor.
May the doors of rahmat be opened for her always, ya Rahman.

Catching a Feeling.

It felt horrible to start catching a feeling for someone. For me, it has been 7 years since I last felt like this. Like I am attached to somebody who doesnt even know how I feel and I dont ever intend to tell it yet. Catching a feeling is something, detachment is also another thing. Like I suddenly feel horrible if things didnt end up like fairytales --happily ever after or a good bright future. Such detachment is the worst. Like I already own it but no Im not. Im not even grasping it but I could already feel it but it's not there for real. What lah.....blerghhhh...

Catching THIS feeling for someone after 7 years sucks so badly.

I once had a crush on someone (it's a different 'someone' btw) that I kept it to myself since 2008. I confessed in 2015. From 2008 to 2015, I never allow myself to be attached to this fella cz I know it will hurt me like hell. Im glad I did and it didnt hurt me so much even after I told him what I feel --Im a smart girl and yes he politely rej…

5 ex boyfriends in 10 years.

quite a long post tho ---------------
I never been on any legit real relationship that lasts for more than a year.

When I was with my Johor ex boyfriend, we...oh god, i forgot what happened la siaa hahaha! Only lasted few months je kot.
When I was with my wall-climber ex boyfriend, our official declaration only lasted for 2 weeks. We still try to keep it going but we broke up anyway.
When I was with my afro-haired ex boyfriend, we lasted for 3 months.
When I was with my forensic-officer-to-be ex boyfriend, we lasted 4-5 months. I forgot already.
Then, someone catfished me for two years which made me "had a boyfriend" for that period of time, which no, that's not a real relationship. The catfish-er was a girl btw. Nope, she isnt ex boyfriend apparently. Wrong category. Yeap, I checked that. Im straight btw. Hahaha!
When I was with my theater-partner ex boyfriend, we lasted 2 months cz we broke up on 14th Feb 2015. Yeap, valentine's day.

So yeah, those were the relatio…