BOLD & SEPET

Ini tempat Adam planned utk aku. Skrg tugas aku kasi pulun lagi 3 paper. Jumaat aku nak balik, bantai tidur sampai puas (ceh mcm la kau tk cukup tidur sgt).  Aduhai 4 flat, Mari dekat dgn ku.. Eee apa ni? Hahaha! K bye! Nak study fizik, ada lagi 4 chapters kena pulun. Esok fizik! Hari khamis aku dah boleh lega ah sbb kimia, fizik and maths dah settle. Tinggal Sc Comp je. Ok serious, gtg! Assalammualaikum! XO, Nesayang.

All praise be to Allah and glory be to Him. Im done with MUET speaking and alhamdulillah I didnt do anything that would take me down in the mouth. Though I make few mistakes, Im just glad I didnt feel dejected. I am still able to be positive and stay sane. Glad! While waiting for our turn in the quarantine room :)  The topic was on good manners should be practiced at school and that is something quite easy to tackle for everyone, isnt it? It's appicable to all of us. So I could sum up that my topic was okay lah .  Thankful to Allah that my examiners were all okay, smiling all the way.  Walked into the room with a smile on our faces so we could actually bring up the positive and more relaxed ambient during the test and glad the examiners werent making faces.  The next tests would be on listening, writing and reading :) I hope I'll nailed it! In sya Allah. Assalammualaikum. XO, Nesayang.

Aku baru balik solat subuh. Tadi ttba terperasan yg dah 3 semester aku dkt sini, most people prone to stay up at wee hours to study and very less of them wake up early to study. Im not the kind of student who can actually stay up for hours to do works, I'll get sleepy and surely cant focus. 1am is the maximum for studying.  Year 2002, I was in standard two. I remembered having so many homeworks to do before I went to sleep, so I decided to wake up at morning (masa ni tgk jam pun tk berapa reti haha!). Not knowing what is the exact timing of "morning", I just woke up and realize that it's still dark outside and continued my work. I have a habit of doing my homeworks in front of the door of my room, I couldnt fathom why until now haha! But that was a lucid memory that I still keep. I remembered the sound of the wind outside as it was about to rain. I was all alone. Doing tulisan jawi. The letter I wrote was "jim". You know, the kind of homeworks teacher would ...

Study week = week 18. It'll always be like that bcz we only have 18 weeks per semester. Honestly, I have been trying to study and be wise in choosing how to kill time other than studying. That is, procrastinating hahaha! My study schedule is packed but somehow I couldnt managed to stay on track. I didnt literally follow the schedule, but waking up at 4am is really an achievement. It shows that Im ready to brainstorm.  It's okay, slow pace. No pressure. I dont wanna push too hard cz I know I'll be tired mentally and it'll be hard for me to stay sane, calm and happy. There's no room for giving up now. Though Im pacing slowly, not giving up is the mission now.  This friday (oct 25) would be the first day of semester 3 final examination. I have 6 days if leisure before proceeding to the next papers which are on Monday (oct 28).  I hope I'll do better this time. This semester is my one and only hope so that I could pass above 3.5 . Just a littleeeeeee bit more. If I ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Peace be upon Prophet Muhammad, his companions and family :) ------------------------------------- I hope I will miss this place someday in future.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Peace be upon Prophet Muhammad, his companions and family :) ---------------------------------------- Adam asked me to do him a favor. I need to go to Mid Valley to pick up his clothes, that's what he said. So I did. He woke me up, and off I went to Mid Valley. Despite having my purse left at home, I continued my journey with a reluctant heart. Oi, gua dah plan nak gi tgk movie, cemana nak tgk movie kalau purse dah tertinggal -___-" He was worried that I couldn't make it to meet the person I was supposed to meet to collect his clothes. I know I will make it. Just a lil late. Hehe! So I walked to MPH as I was texting him.. "Cemana nak tahu mana satu orgnya?" "Jap" he said. So I stepped into MPH and roamed around. Waiting for him to reply the text. And suddenly... "Assalammualaikum.." I turned to where the voice is coming and I saw... Amira Hanani Abd Kadir!!!!!!! Who is she? She's my long lost best ...

Semalam, aku bangun subuh and area jantung aku sakit, so harini aku decide utk pegi klinik. Being in KMS, depa akan hantaq kami naik van (boleh tak nak kata mcm gelandangan? Cis! Tak bersyukur!) ke satu klinik yg well known utk matrix students. Klinik kerajaan. Aku jangka pagi ni tak ramai orang, satgi turun van je perghhh ramai seh. So I sat at a corner, observing around.  Allahurabbi, sebak rasa hati bila aku tgk orang2 tua yang dtg ke klinik sendirian ni. Dgn nurse panggil nama mcm kami ni pekak (ye aku fhm, kau panggil la sekali je, tunggu org tu muncul ke tak, baru panggil lagi, ini tidak, panggil mcm la kami ni boleh tuptuppp muncul terus dkt kaunter). Old folks ni jalan pun tak terdaya, slow je melangkah ke kaunter. Sebak aku tgk.  Sendirian agaknya mereka di rumah tanpa anak2. Nisa, buruk sangka tu not nice ok? Nanti amalan di ambil org kalau kita buruk sangka dkt org lain.  Ya Allah, Aku harap aku diberi peluang utk ada dgn Mak Ayah bila dorang dah tak sekuat dan...

Often do I experienced minor illness as exam is getting near. Today, I woke up for subuh congregation prayer with a normal feeling. No pain. Nothing. I just need to pee so badly. So I went straight to the mosque and approached the loo. That was the time when the left lower abdomen of mine experienced a sharp pain that it affected my chest. Sharp pain also. I felt this before but normally it wont take so long to retrieve. So I said to myself it's okay lets solat, maybe after that it'll retrieve. But to no avail. The pain was there. I didnt wait for the doa recital, I went back to my room. Sat on my bed, grab the Quran in hope that it'll be better. But again, I was wrong. It gets worst. I somehow had to stop reciting, wait for a few seconds to bear the sharp pain in the chest and then continue. That's it, final solution. Sleep.  I always believe that sleep heals almost every minor illness, so I slept. Skipped my morning classes in hope that I can attend the remaining clas...

Sem yang paling tak consistent aku update blog. Sem paling tricky (tak susah, tapi tricky). Sem paling aku redah je balik even kolej ada event. Exam aku start Oct 25, Jumaat. Aku pun tak fhm kenapa Jumaat. Sem ni Matrikulasi punya takwim cam merapu sket. Semua rushing and last minute. Ttba aku teringat masa aku makan dgn Hanim dkt Hard Rock. Ya Robbi.. masa tu la depa text and inform yang aku kena balik asrama hari ahad. It was Friday. Gila! Kena packing in rush. Mentally tak ready nak menghadap sem 3 and now... semester 3 is ending. Being in the 16th week means I only have 2 weeks remaining before PSPM 3. I. Can. Not. Believe. Time,  you sure sprint faster each month -.-  Rasa mcm baru smlm makan dkt Hard Rock dgn Hanim, gelak2, ttba dpt text tu. Aku igt lagi disebabkan ke-kabut-an masa tu, aku hanya berupata utk focus pada 20 minit pertama kelas. Thank God aku cepat2 pulihkan diri hahahahah! Kalau tak, kecundang. Sem ni yg susahnya kimia. Byk sgt reaction mechanism. Specific...

Mungkin tak semua yg terdekat dgn aku, mahupun random readers akan baca post aku yang panjang berjela, tapi kalau ada sorang hamba Allah boleh baca and relate dgn apa aku tulis, faham dan amek pengajaran yg sama, aku bersyukur.  Sungguh. -------------------------- Dengan namaMu ya Allah yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Pemurah. Minggu ni, aku dirudum masalah orang sekeliling yang secara tak langsung, melibatkan aku. Aku sedar aku dah 19, jujurnya aku taknak membesar. At this age, aku realize yang dunia ni kejam dan aku lebih rela dipilih utk dijemput Ilahi dahulu daripada menghadap kegilaan dunia yang ntah level berapa dia punya gila. Jujur. Menghadap Ilahi dalam keadaan Allah redha pada segala perlakuan aku. Dunia ni terlalu byk muslihat.  Ceritanya, waktu aku takda dkt asrama, the girls did a meeting with the guilty person named Cantik (bukan nama sebenar). This issue has been dragged for so long that they managed to get Cantik sat down with them and they told me they had someth...

Diari Subuh. Minggu 14, Semester 3. KMS. Isnin (September 23, 2014) 5.51am. Tersentak aku dari tidur, dalam beberapa saat, tergerak hati (dan otak yg masih loading) utk bersiap ke surau. Aku berharap ini adalah calling from Allah yg diturunkan dlm bentuk gerak hati. Mungkin Allah rindu aku. Jadi aku terus bangkit, menuju ke surau.  MashaAllah, byknya selipar. Bagus adik-adik junior sem ni. Tiba-tiba aku rasa mungkin adik-adik ini adalah batch yg mentally kuat. Bukan senang nak ke surau utk solat jemaah, especially subuh.   Jemaah lelaki masih boleh dihitung guna jari. Itu first impression. Iqomat berkumandang dan solat didirikan. MashaAllah, aku jenguk ke bahagian bawah, penuh saf lelaki yang pertama! Malah ada saf kedua!  Allahurabbi, jadikan mereka itu pemimpin kuat.  Aku terbaca artikel dkt FB psl solat subuh jemaah mlm tadi. Diceritakan solat subuh berjemaah (SSB) boleh menjadikan seorang muslim itu kuat dan penulis kata, semasa beliau ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Peace be upon Prophet Muhammad, his companions and family :) Yesterday was a day I learnt about parenthood. It was as if Allah was teaching me indirectly about parenthood. Whole my life, I always think my parents are perfect. Every opinion from them is legit and applicable as my preference. As my stance. I mean, their opinion made me think life is as what they opinionated. If they indirectly scold me with ABCD, then I would think life is like ABCD. Senang cite, gua mcm takda pendirian sendiri. Aku tak pasti aku ni tak cukup exploring ke fikir ke apa. My aunt once said "kau ni hidup dlm shadow mak ayah kau la".. She's a psychologist. Hence, I think she has a point. I think, as you grow up, you gotta have stance. Stance is like a mental posture, your own point of view. In malay, pendirian. My mom always said "people without stance won't succeed". My dad says "attitude is veryyyyyyyy impo...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Peace be upon Prophet Muhammad, his companions and family :) -------------------------------- My previous post was regarding an explanation to the break up of Adam and I, which currently, we are back like normal. We try to solve things together. Better, I hope. I can not foresee the future, I can not tell how things are going to be like, but at least I could try for one last shot. I hope things get better between us. Midterm exam has ended though. Idk how my grades are gonna be like. Idk how am I doing. Better or worse. Semester 3 is the semester which I think is the worse ever. A semester whereby Im lost. Hahahaha! I think it's what all the lecturers said "semester bdk2 hanyut".. Well, mari kita lihat result midterm gua. Belle, Me, Syakirah. Looking at pictures in my phone's gallery, I realized that I have changed. I looked rather matured -___-" I don't want to grow up :(

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Peace be upon Prophet Muhammad, his companions and family :) ------------------------------------------ week 8 means, mid semester test is around the corner. this semester is the semester that time fleets too fast. too fast that i cant catch up with the rhythm. but i guess that is how life rolls. unexpectedly challenging. that is when fun starts to seep in our daily routine. my english lecturer said that nothing in life is boring. it's the way you see it and alter it. life is boring though. esp when the workloads are taxing. adam goes to work everyday before dawn and he always reminds  me that if i complain, i gotta think of others who had to work triple harder than me (that is, him). i guess he's trying to drag me to bear our duties together. towards a future together. im glad to have humble friends in my room now. esp my former roommate. wallahi i love that girl though she's a victim of my random jokes and sarcasm. gosh, i ne...

somehow in life, you wished some things never happened. though it happened because you let them happened. that, my friend, is regret. it happened to all of us. regret is here, within us. some chose to ignore, some chose to overcome. as you walked through life, regret will haunt you. break you. but it's always a choice. Allah promised to be there, for you, though somehow you feel shattered when you were left alone. you wanted a way out from the burden you've hanged on for some period of time. painful, it is. life wont promised you a guaranteed bliss. nobody will ever guaranteed anything. but that is when faith seeps in you. faith keeps you going. faith embrace you. faith enlightens you because it shines the darkest route. install faith to everyone you'll meet. because only faith that keeps you going. the very last hope for you. believe. in other words. it will bring you 'there'. it's your last hope.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Peace be upon Prophet Muhammad, his companions and family :) ------------------------------------------ terkedu kejap aku bila aku tulis title. sem3?????? laju gila masa berjalan. dah WEEK 6 pulak tu. ada remaining 12 weeks sebelum final PSPM 3. lepastu SEM 4. mashaAllah :) minggu antara minggu yg paling laju sekali berjalan. banyak benda jadi minggu ni. Isnin. - friendly match hoki dgn sekolah PROJEK Selasa-Rabu. - tkde mende jadi. Khamis. - hanya kelas pertama dan quiz je aku pegi, pastu aku terlentang atas katil, longlai. it's the time of the month, biasa lah tu. Jumaat. - balik dgn KMS buddies naik train. agak awal smpai rmh. impressive! UPS is within few weeks. naik cuti raya terus exam. gila. ada few things that i need to catch up. contoh : kimia. energy level diagram aku masih terkial2 lagi. nak nangis jwb quiz. sem ni kena dapat wayyyyyy better than both sem lepas. baru aku tak mengah nak kejar masa sem 4 nanti. ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Peace be upon Prophet Muhammad, his companions and family :) kita semua perlu supporter, baik seorang rakan atau darah daging sendiri. pernah seorang rakan, begitu setia dibelakang aku. itu yg aku nampak. lalu aku percaya dia sahabat yg baik. hilang dlm ingatan bila terakhir kali aku rasa begitu. punyai seorang teman se-cool dia. masa berjalan dan aku bermusafir. ya Allah, seorang teman yg sejati juga buat tenang hati. hari demi hari, jika ada hambaNya yg dtg bawa kebaikan, aku terima dia sebagai teman. setia atau tidak hambanya Dia itu, aku tolak tepi. aku terima dia dan kebaikan yg dibawanya. aku gendong kebaikan itu atas nama Allah. dlm diam aku hormati teman itu. biar buruk lisannya, tapi kebaikannya yg aku fokuskan. biar kecil, aku besarkan. bila tiba masa utk dia pergi, aku relakan. kebaikannya tetap aku gendong. keburukannya cuba aku tu...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Peace be upon Prophet Muhammad, his companions and family :) berjalanlah kamu di atas muka bumi ini, tanpa rasa sombong. selitkan rasa malu. kukuhkan beranimu. Tuhan mmg sengaja membiarkan kita, dgn masalah kita sendiri. mungkin cuma itu ruang utk kita kembali. seringkali kita penat berdoa, tidak sekali doa itu makbul. lalu kita berhenti berdoa. seringkali juga kita berdoa, dan makbul doa itu. lalu kita lupa utk terus diberi kekuatan berdoa. berdoa lah satu-satunya jambatan. jambatan menuju Dia. doa beri ketenangan. umpama bercakap dgn Ya Rahman. doa lah penyambung iman. iman itu percaya. percaya pada Allah. berdoalah. tanpa henti. agar imanmu sentiasa bersambung menuju Allah.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Peace be upon Prophet Muhammad, his companions and family :) --------------------------------------- bila hujan turun, lalu kita dongak dan ucap "syukur Allah..", malaikat sibuk menulis pahala buat kita, kanan terutamanya. lalu kita tetap berjalan menuju tanggungjawab, siang dan malam, bila masalah dtg merudum, terduduk kita dibuatnya. mungkin nangis, mungkin migrain. lalu kita dongak kembali ke atas, menyatakan betapa tidak adilnya hidup ini. beza dgn hujan tadi. hujan itu kurnia Tuhan. sama jugak masalah kita. syukur lah, hujan dan masalah meletakkan warna pada hidup. dan itu semua kurnia Tuhan. Allahurabbi..

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Peace be upon Prophet Muhammad, his companions and family :) ----------------------------------------- just in few days time, Ramadhan visits us for a month. semoga Allah beri peluang utk kita semua lalui bulan mulia ini. semoga Ramadhan kali ini kita diberi cahaya olehNya. semoga amalan kita diterima. semoga Allah lebih sayang kan kita semua yg penuh dosa dan sering lalai ini. Ramadhan, kau datang lagi menyapa kami.. bulan yg penuh barakah, bulan ketenangan beribadah.. rindu ke masjid di malam hari utk terawih, rindu ketenangan itu.. malam yg dihabiskan di masjid, berdiri menunaikan solat bersama saudara seislam yg lain.. Ramadhan, terangi hati kami dgn cahayaNya.