BOLD & SEPET

One thing I learnt: Susah nak yakinkan diri yang rezeki pasti ada di mana² terutama bila macam tak nampak jalan langsung, bila susah hati. Tapi… bila kita dah senang, happy, lapang otak, terus lupa rasa sesak dada masa jalan gelap. This calls for astaghfirullah 😅

Pantas eh 10 tahun rupanya.. Aku decide starting 2018 ni aku nak tukar daripada blogpost kepada Tumblr, sebab apps Tumblr lagi user friendly, hence senang aku nak update di mana-mana. Apps blogger agak lousy. I forgot that I actually created and posted things on Tumblr account since 2015 rupanya haha. See you guys on Tumblr ok! http://boldandsepet.tumblr.com/ I wont be blogging here anymore, I guess. Ah sedih pulak rasa........ Aku bukan penulis yg proper because whatever is in this blog is directly (very raw) from my brain, no filtering needed. But I enjoyed 10 years of blogging. Years of freedom (especially when malaysian are very lazy to read, I get more privacy). Thank you for the 10 years of support my loyal (maybe non existent) readers. I love you all of you. It's time to say good bye...cant believe Im doing this.... I bid farewell to blogspot. Good bye blogging life :( ------------------------- 10 tahun di Shah Alam pun menyeronokkan. Ofcourse ada pahit getir...

My supervisor told me today that my time will come. The time will come when one day I will have my own paycheck and I will start settling stuffs on my own, the bills, the shopping, the credit card and all. All I had in my mind at time was to be able to shop at IKEA as much as she did today for her rented apartment. I love shopping for that kinda stuffs. I imagine having my own apartment and the privilege to decorate it. Soon the time will come and when it arrives, I hope I'll be just fine. I learnt so much today. God bless my supervisor. May the doors of rahmat be opened for her always, ya Rahman.

This year I had to live by this quote. Haritu member aku kata camni dkt aku, "kau ni bukan boleh percaya, ada masalah duk diam je simpan sorang" statement dia buat aku fikir... "aku ada masalah ke?" hahahahaha jadi bongok tiba-tiba. Ada. Aku manusia biasa. Aku ada masalah dlm hidup, tapi kebanyakan nya benda aku tak boleh solve dah. Benda yang sampai satu tahap aku terpaksa be like pegi mampos apa nak jadi, pegi mampos. Byk benda-benda yang buat aku sedih, some of them benda yg sama since years ago, maybe months ago. Benda yg diluar kawalan aku. Ubat yg aku ada cuma nangis dan doa.  Ada masa yg aku rasa tak adil semua tu jadi dkt aku, aku tk peduli Tuhan tu dengar ke tidak, aku nak nangis sampai penat tertidur dan bangun esok lupa asbab aku menangis malam tersebut. Semua sebab sebuah harapan tu penat. Husnuzon tu penat. Positive tu penat. Memang ada masa aku rasa semua yg baik tu penat, aku rasa nak men-syaiton sek...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Lama jugak aku senyap kan?  nah lah aku bagi satu cerita yg menyentuh hati aku sikit haha. ---------------- Awal December haritu, aku balik Shah Alam dengan Wan Nur Syahirah. Budak kelas aku yg paling brightest sekali. Comel orang nya, petite, putih, pandai. Kitaorang gerak MC (Melaka Central) dari kolej naik Cik Yam Racer (makcik ni famous dkt kolej, dia tolong hantar budak tp rate dia agak mahal sebenarnya) dgn tambang RM4 sorang. Dah lambat masa tu. Nak kejar bas pukul 12.30, pukul 12pm baru ktorg call Cik Yam sbb baru hbs kelas. Apa lagi, jalan tak cukup tanah la pegi kaunter, kalau boleh terbang lagi bagus. Sampai dekat kaunter Transnasional, nak beli 2 tickets balik SA... "Sorry sayang, ticket SA tinggal 1 seat je" "ALLAH!" kata aku dalam hati sambil tengok Syahirah dgn muka terkejut. Either one of us kena back off and beli ticket KL kalau nak balik at that time gak. Next trip Transnasional to SA puku...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  WARNING : BLOG POST YG PANJANG. Haritu masa dkt Vendeur Festival, aku mmg penat. Ye lah, sebab puasa. Lagi satu sebab aku tak tido the night before tu. So, lepas penat beratur dkt VF, aku rasa cm nak reward diri. Maka depa pun melayan aku pegi IKEA makan meatballs.  Kau tau la IKEA tu cane kan? Tk prnh tak ramai org. Apatah lagi bulan puasa ni. Mmg kena tggu la tmpt duduk. Aku bersyukur sbb auntie cantik tu bagi tempat duduk. Time tu family dia otw nak habis makan and ada 2 seats kosong, so dia suruuh duduk dulu. MashaAllah semoga Allah merahmati auntie cantik ni. Aku suka org tua yg considerate camni. Show me a good example yg rare. Kdg ada je elders yg kekwat kan?  Setiap hari nak makan camni boleh takkkkk T_T So ktorg pegi beli makanan. I had 15 meatballs (yg aku rasa tak cukup) and mushroom soup. Mmg tazabarrr nak makan sebab aku dah lapar teruk lepas solat maghrib. Tapi yg tak sedapnya, bila kami dpt tmpt duduk ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Kalau kau kenal aku dgn rapat, kau probably tahu yang aku quit/ditch/terminate byk benda these days. Mak kata "awak taknak bertanggungjawab". I can not argue with her because technically everything she said is right hahaha well, mak kita kan. Bagi lah dorang menang. Some of benda yang aku cancel/ditch ni is somehow could be a big part of hidup aku. Tapi aku quit. Firstly sebab komitmen. I can't seemed to give commitment. Which technically, like Mak said, taknak bertanggungjawab. Well, I said, aku malas mencuba these days. Belum papehal dah quit. Or perhaps I think too much or too far or too realistic. Idk. I think I went haywire these days without even realizing!! I thought I am totally fine but nooo. Perhaps I was intimidated to be occupied with other than my classes, assignments and studies, hence I quit to avoid the overload of stuffs to plan and accomplish within a semester. Oh this sucks big time. Eleh, I haven't been pro...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Haritu, aku takdak kelaih dah lepaih pukui 11am. Pi lepak sat dgn member. Pastu balik nun, hujan lebat. Aku duk sorang dkt ruang tamu ni, ada org ketuk pintu. Aku pi bukak. Ada la member ni baru balik.. Aku tanya, "eh, baru balik? gi mana?" Dia jawab, "kelas english, saya repeat. awak kena tolong saya, nisa" Tenung dia penat mengharung hujan dgn segala barang yg dia pgg tu, hati aku remuk doh. Last sem aku tgk cemana dia struggle utk english. Nota dia penuh translation. Bersalah pun ada gak. Aku pass dah, member ni tertinggal blkg. Demmm, pasaipa aku tk nmpk benda ni. Kadang 2 aku rasa I better off jadi cikgu english dkt sekolah rendah je, memang lah tak fancy, gaji takda la 5 angka, tapi puas. Puas dpt bg anak orang pandai bahasa penjajah ni hahahaha. "ah shit, so kita kena game la selama ni? shit" ------------------------- Thank you for reading! Have a nice day! ♥

Ini My Previous Love Story 1.0 (click the link) Baiklah, aku akan cuba sambung citer ni dgn sebaiknya supaya segala mindfuck dpt diuraikan. Maafkan aku kalau diakhir post ini, korang masih mindfuck dgn apa yg jadi. But yeah, selamat me-mindfuck-kan minda. Sini aku kasi satu das. Baca sampai muak,  biar faham, biar puas terjawab persoalan dlm kepala ekau tu. REAL WARNING : POST YG PANJANG. TAKNAK BACA SILA EXIT.  MERUNGUT WON'T SOLVE ANY SHIT. ----------------------------- Hi. Nama aku Nisa dan aku bercinta dengan seorang 'lelaki' bernama Adam Rafiuddin bin Yusuf yang tidak pernah aku jumpa. Adam adalah seorang pensyarah di sebuah IPTS. Aku bercinta dari dari July 2012 hingga July 2014. (Oh shit, aku baru sedar it's july to july). Ye, 2 tahun aku bercinta dgn 'mamat' ni (yang pada masa itu, masih lagi seorang mamat di mata dan pemahaman aku). Ye, dia adalah seorang lelaki yang tidak pernah sama sekali wujud dan aku baru tahu pada ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  2010. Pada sangat kita menangis sedih, basah pipi merayu kpd Allah perihal hidup yg tidak adil, orang-orang yg menyakiti kita, yakin lah Allah itu sedang memerhatikan kita sebenar-benarnya. Bayangkan lah Allah itu benar-benar berada di atas kepala kita, bersedia mencurahkan rahmat dlm bentuk ketenangan hati kpd kita sesudah kita tamat berdoa. Yakin lah wahai sahabat. Kdg-kdg hati kita terlalu remuk dibuat oleh manusia lain, disakiti, dicerca, ditipu dan pelbagai ragam. Tapi ingat lah kita semua berada di bawah kuasaNya. Ingat lah di hati itu bahawa Allah sentiasa di atas dan juga di sisi kita. Menangis lah ketika berdoa. Takpa, Allah sentiasa di atas kita, bersedia menghembuskan tenangnya hati sesudah berdoa. Tenangnya hati kita selepas menangis berdoa, itu semua dtg dari Allah. Apatah lagi apabila kita benar yakin Allah itu sedang khusyuk mendengar doa kita walaupun kita penuh dosa. Lagi tenang rasanya bila diri yg hina ini masih di...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  POST INI PANJANG. It was written in the offer letter that the registration day would be on the 1st september and so after sleepless nights of rechecking again and again, we're off to Melaka at 7am, yesterday (Aug 1). It was weird because as we arrived, the campus wasn't packed with people. There were cars but not as much as we expect it to be. Even the main door of the campus were locked intact. I could see few families waiting. Oh so I thought UiTM was just a bit late kot. Few minutes after waiting, we saw few cars left the campus and making us felt more weird. There was  a UiTM staff and Ayah approached him. He told us that the registration day was postponed to Aug 6, saturday!!!! He also told us that UiTM has informed us, the upcoming students, via text or we have to check the campus website by ourselves. Gila. There was no notice at all about checking the campus website. They should have made an announcement at the Portal Kema...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم POST PANJANG. (Jgn ckp aku tak warn) What lessons? If you happened to read this post , you know that I once ranted about tudung labuh girls and how I envy them and there I wrote few opinions of mine about them. First, I am not among those who clad in tudung labuh, I am just a typical girl with my bidang 45 bawal or sometimes my disheveled shawl which I still try my hardest to cover my bosom part which is tough sometimes which dah boleh berhenti dgn which ni nisa.... Second, I once had in my mind that why not aku try pakai tudung labuh, but then I realized that tudung labuh isn't wajib, but covering the aurat, the bosom part etc is wajib, let's get down to the real concept ok. Dont be skeptical pemalas kinda teens/human. So, I was at The Curve surau when I realized that it was 4pm and I havent perform Zuhur prayer yet, and I took off my tudung, handsocks and socks which was super tedious for me. Honestly, sometimes ...