BOLD & SEPET

Aku amek space sikit utk lari dari Twitter sbb pagi tadi baru aku selesai delete semua tweet dan kosong kan Twitter, utk memberi laluan kpd masa lapang dgn menyiapkan thesis yg masih lagi tak siap2. Mcm yg aku aim dlm calendar gmail, habis intern, settle chapter 4. Tapi tu lah, chapter 4 ni data analysis drpd questionnaire yg aku akan distribute. Masalahnya skrg ni Sir tak reply lg email aku. Nk dkt seminggu dah woi. Bengkel SPSS (sejenis software utk key in data) pulak sabtu depan. Aku nak key in apabenda entah dkt bengkel tu nanti kalau sir tak reply email aku dan approve questionnaire aku. Adoi. Smlm aku tweet "future scares me", ada 6 orang RT. Aku rasa disayangi sbb rupanya ada jugak kawan2 yg fikir benda sama. Nak tidur, nangis. Bangun tidur, nangis. Risau punya pasal. Thesis Viva Habis bachelor degree Kerja (ini paling menakutkan)

Aku masih lagi struggle melawan diri procrastinate dgn thesis writing. Ada 5 chapter nak kena buat. Aku personally rasa chapter paling sakit is chapter 2 (literature review) and chapter 4 (data analysis). Tbh, aku baru siap 80% siap chapter 1. Padahal first meet dgn advisor was March 17 haritu. Patutnya dah siap sampai chapter 3 sekarang ni. Bayangkan berapa banyak aku procrastinate... Minggu ni baru aku nak catch up balik sebab aku aim sebelum 12 May, siap lengkap chapter 1, 2, questionnaire and intro chapter 3. Aku pun tak faham kenapa lah uitm ni satu kan intern dgn thesis. Kenapa lah tak thesis dulu baru intern. Penat jugak sebenarnya. Tapi bila aku fikir, orang lain boleh siap sampai 3 chapters, siap kena reject 2-3 kali, aku nak bagi alasan apa kan? Semoga by isnin ni aku siap chapter 1 & half chapter 2. Tak boleh jadi betul kau ni anisah. Theoretical framework baru jumpa satu je. Masih tak kukuh. Acano ni? Kata nak grad on time? Maka harus lah aku rapatkan d...

My supervisor told me today that my time will come. The time will come when one day I will have my own paycheck and I will start settling stuffs on my own, the bills, the shopping, the credit card and all. All I had in my mind at time was to be able to shop at IKEA as much as she did today for her rented apartment. I love shopping for that kinda stuffs. I imagine having my own apartment and the privilege to decorate it. Soon the time will come and when it arrives, I hope I'll be just fine. I learnt so much today. God bless my supervisor. May the doors of rahmat be opened for her always, ya Rahman.

at some point today i was thinking when will all these struggles end, when will i get to do what i wanna do, all these left me at the point where im bewildered by what i wanna do and what is in front of me. all of these pains, will it hold me from moving forward? i dont know anymore. i am being really ignorant these days. day 1 was okay. i used iMac for the first time. wobbly hands. i hope my thesis will go well. ah final year is really freaking me out.