BOLD & SEPET

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Kalau nak cite pasal busy week masa zaman belajar ni, cliche sangat. Manada zaman belajar tak busy. On consecutive days mesti ada je agenda. Dari test, ke event, ke practice and all. Sampai bilik, kau dah layu mcm sotong. Minggu ni paling best sebab aku ada Food Innovation. Group aku buat Popia De Patatas, sejenis popia fillings dia telur, minced beef, kentang and capcicum. Daebek beb. Semua orang puji. Lecturers pun. Aku bangga dgn group aku! Anyway, dalam keadaan hidup baru naik cuti midsem ni, yg busy semacam ni, aku jd terkenang Mak Ayah dekat rumah. Sebenarnya bila belajar dkt dgn rumah, selalu balik, feeling sayu teringat Mak Ayah tu kurang sikit. Kadang-kadang feeling sayu tu bagi aku reason lebih sikit ah utk have fun dekat sini, enjoy every peluang aku ada. Aku tak tahu nak expect apa sem ni. Skrg dh mcm ke laut dh. Aku kena ke darat balik ni. Kalau tak, karam beb. Karam. Aku tahu aku jarang blogging these days. Ada je benda nk blog...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Dear you, the next one whom I will be in love with. The last one, if Allah is willing. Yes, this post is for you. I am sorry you are not the first one. I always wish I would grow wiser and more patient to make you the first one. I am sorry, I dont have enough power to make the time moves backward. But I know that I would love you better than anyone I had before because of all the pains, mistrusts and infidelity that I went through. I am sorry, I love you. You will be my last, if Allah is willing.   I am sorry that for now, I might not say it to your face that I like you because I learnt that keeping the feelings to myself and Allah feels a lot calmer than if you ever knew that I like you. I am sorry, you might not know now, but one day you will, if Allah is willing to let you know. Because after all, what I feel for you came from Allah, it's me myself who had to handle it wisely.  It cant be tainted, that's why you sha...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Sabtu lepas adalah pengalaman pertama aku seumur hidup (!!!!) menyaksikan kawan rapat aku sendiri menikah. Najiha namanya. Lebih dikenali sebagai Jibab atau Jiha. Jiha ni classmate aku masa dkt matriks. Sekelas tu ada 7 orang je girls. Banyak kenangan ktorang 2 tahun dekat KMS tu. Sekarang semua dah bawa haluan berbeza, tapi masih lagi lepak setiap kali cuti panjang dan mmg tak lengkap cuti tanpa dorang. For as long as everything is still the same like this, Im so grateful alhamdullilah. Aku terdiam jugak bila dah sampai Masjid Damansara Damai tu, tgk Jiha siap dgn baju nikah dia. Aku rasa dia main-main waktu dia bgthu ktorg tu. Senyap je dia, tetiba menikah dah. Sweet :') Sebak kah aku? Aku lebih kepada mindfuck hahahaha biar betul siak Jiha ni nak menikah dah in a few minutes time. That was what in my mind, the whole time. Tak sempat nak sebak, majlis berjalan dgn sangat lancar. Tok kadi memudahkan majlis. Tak byk bebel. Serious semua lan...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم   You know you reach one point in life whereby you just have to wake up and tell yourself that it's time to move forward and leave shitty things or people behind. That day will come if it hasn't yet. Then comes the day you will regret all the people you misinterpret and Allah tells you straight to your face that you are to blame, for your ego and selfishness. Yes, this day too will come if it hasnt. Then comes the day when someone came with a huge mistake and all you have to do is to figure out how to get away from that bastard, but you know deep inside you need to forgive anyway. The pain bleeds you. Or maybe just a random day when you realized that it's time that you give some space for someone to enter your life but then you have become too rigid due to all the pains that bleed you. But you try to convince yourself that it is fine and conflicts are fine also, it let you struggle a lil bit but you continue to grow. Maybe just a day...

I had a rough ending last month. - my mirror crashed to the ground, leaving the wood frame scattered, luckily the mirror is fine. - i only had rm2 cash in hand, rm21 in bank, a telur pindang and leftovers serunding daging, so i decided to puasa ganti to curb the mentality that I need to eat but i dont have money  - someone subtly rejected me - debts everywhere  - too sensitive with everyone's comments towards me - my laptop is doomed, didn't function well, fml - i went for theatre audition which i dont feel belonged anymore but then i realized that i keep shutting out everything, fml again - whatsapp still not functioning. Blerghh i wish TaiG would release the latest jailbreak asap, fml. Life is hard without whatsapp. I might need to buy new battery for my S2 bcz it's the only hope for whatsapp but it failed me also by constantly staring back at me with blank screen. Fml. I cried during shower once and I know it's critical that I overthink at th...