BOLD & SEPET

Harini SV tmpt intern aku pass offer letter dekat Whatsapp utk aku semak dulu. Pada aku sebagai fresh grad (ye aku masih lg fresh grad lol haha), gaji tu decent enough. Takda la banyak gila tapi boleh lah buat menabung. InsyaAllah. Harapan aku cuma : 1. aku belajar benda baru 2. takda masalah gaji tk bayar lah whatever 3. ada training (entah la eh, startup ada training ke..) 4. aku belajar manage diri, ego and anger dan aku harap aku mengamalkan work-life separation instead of work-life balance. These days we forgot to separate work and life. Thanks lah Dr Amalina 17A tu yg pernah sebut pasal ni. Berguna nasihat dia ni lagi 10 tahun bila dah ada anak nanti. Balance and separation ada beza, kasi tahu boss kau. Hahaha! I'll be my own boss in 5 years time. My own studio, my own current account. IinsyaAllah. Sekarang ni, charger battery camera aku manaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? erghhh. 

Last week was my last class with Laoshi Azeezeen. Yes! I took intensive mandarin class for 6 days. Paid RM250 for it. It was soooo much fun! Aku aim by the end of 2018, aku dah boleh cakap mandarin sikit2 and converse dgn chinese people or at least understand wtf they talk about. I do have some vocabs in my brain tapi since class dah habis aku rasa mcm semakin lupa dah haha. Imagine Nesa looking like chinese and able to speak mandarin? Nice ennn. I took this class because previously I worked in a chinese company and it's annoying not being able to understand what they discuss about. Plus, nanti kalau ada rezeki aku kahwin and ada anak, aku rasa penting untuk aku letak KPI dkt anak2 aku at least dorang kena tahu 4 bahasa hahahaha. Malay English Mandarin One language of their choice. Tapi tu lah, aku ni kena work hard dulu lah. Kelas laoshi haritu tak sempat nak belajar menulis. So aku kena push sikit diri ni utk belajar mandarin ni EVERYDAY sebenarnya. Susah beb. T...

Im actually given the chance to freelance with my internship company right now. Been editing video for them, alhamdulillah Im thankful for this freelance job they offer. Came to the office twice a week. Didnt earn million ringgit from it, but it's decent enough to pay for my mandarin class hehe. Happy! Alhamdulillahhhhh! God bless my superior who offered me! and really thankful because last week (kot. tak ingat dah), my superior at my internship office (in KL) called me and said there is opening for me as digital marketing executive. But the word marketing itself frightens me, you know. Idk if I should try or I should seek other job. Even if I try, 5 years forward, how will my career development be? I actually dont have the "jiwa" for marketing because I always imagine that I need to bring lots of customers in for the company and Im so afraid I cant do that, people are not interested in me and I dont have extravagant ideas :( Aku mmg tak gemar marketing dari zaman ...

So.... I resigned 1 December haritu. Emosi jugak sesi terakhir aku tu. Tapi fuck it, Im going to resign anyway. Idk what are other things that this company will make me do. I talked to other staff they said the same thing happen. So aku tak boleh nak percaya janji manis dari superior. Janji taknak bg aku involve dlm those things lah.. Nak bagi aku job position baru lah.. Nak atur job scope baru lah.. Kepala hotak. Save it, I dont want those janji manis lol. Im not a kid who they can fool around ok. Walaupun sebenarnya aku dihimpit rasa risau sangat kalau tak dapat kerja yg kena dgn jiwa. Aku rasa bidang sales & marketing mmg akan ada buat kerja tak beretika (eg : tipu customer etc). Tak lah semua bidang or company, but tendency tu ada. Actually semua kerja pun is vulnerable to unethical conduct, tapi kalau benda tu dh jd norm dlm industry or company, sorry lah, I'd rather be jobless. Sejujurnya, the thought of being jobless is really not healthy for my brain. Apatah...