Berhenti Kerja.
So....
I resigned 1 December haritu. Emosi jugak sesi terakhir aku tu. Tapi fuck it, Im going to resign anyway. Idk what are other things that this company will make me do. I talked to other staff they said the same thing happen. So aku tak boleh nak percaya janji manis dari superior.
Janji taknak bg aku involve dlm those things lah..
Nak bagi aku job position baru lah..
Nak atur job scope baru lah..
Kepala hotak. Save it, I dont want those janji manis lol. Im not a kid who they can fool around ok.
Walaupun sebenarnya aku dihimpit rasa risau sangat kalau tak dapat kerja yg kena dgn jiwa. Aku rasa bidang sales & marketing mmg akan ada buat kerja tak beretika (eg : tipu customer etc). Tak lah semua bidang or company, but tendency tu ada. Actually semua kerja pun is vulnerable to unethical conduct, tapi kalau benda tu dh jd norm dlm industry or company, sorry lah, I'd rather be jobless.
Sejujurnya, the thought of being jobless is really not healthy for my brain. Apatah lagi nak decide which industry I should go to. Or what to do with my life lah basically.
Ya Allah payah.
Aku rasa clueless sangat apa nak buat dgn hidup. Aku tak tahu kerja mana, what industry, what should I do, what do I wanna be 5 years forward, how much do I wanna earn. Weh overthinking ni menyakitkan doh.
Ada tahap aku sampai fikir, omg kalau dapat suami tak guna (nauzhubillah. semoga jodoh baik2 di mana shj dia berada), aku kena tanggung anak2, mcm mana doh kalau dari sekarang aku takda career yg stable?
Kau nampak tak tahap overthinking aku ni dah extreme sangat. Hahahaha. Aku rasa nak lempang diri sendiri. Rasa nak menangis semua pun ada lah.
Serabut jugak aku bila jumpa extended families, they'll be asking about me and I have to explain all over again. Like as if all these overthinking sessions aren't enough...
I sometimes I question where is God taking me actually? What does He want me to do? Why have I not feel happy with the industry Im inclined to? Actually masa zaman belajar dulu, I expected all these to happen . I hated sales, marketing, finance, accounting. I love english, HR, science.
Idk lah why Im stuck in this.
Maybe what people said is true. First 10 ten years after graduation, you will not get to do what you really enjoy. Yeah, some people are lucky they got it. But for some of us, we dont.
Until I reach a point, wtf I wanna do with life la wey?
Should I start freelancing as wedding photographer?
Should I find vacancy at any kindergarten or school that I can teach english?
Should I work with catering business?
All these 3 things are what I thought a lot about because these give me a flick of happiness.
Catering? Yeah, I dreamt of owning a catering business because I love food hahahaha. Tak concrete langsung reason. If I wanna start the business, I needed capital.
Eh memang senang je boleh mintak ayah, tapi kalau lingkup business nya, tak ke malu dgn ayah?
Wedding photographer? hmm, i need a platform to start. Got a friend who recommended to me, still thinking about it. Wtf I think about pun idk lah.....
English teacher? aku akan rasa bersalah dkt mak ayah aku sbb they fund my study 100% tapi aku ke laut.....takda kaitan dgn business. unless i open up my own english center which is.....nah. hahaha.
Being jobless made me think about what do I wanna do 10 years forward? How much do I wanna earn? How am I going to fund my bucket list trip to Cappadocia with my jodoh if I dont work? (yeah sure, lets pray my jodoh is baik hati luas rezeki dia sponsor aaminn haha), how am I going to fund my children's education fees like how my dad do it? (yeah sure, lets pray my jodoh is a reliable strong-will and hardworking father to my kids aaaminn haha)
Basically, I wanted my own savings, hence I need to work but also need to be happy.
Kau faham tak conflict aku?
Being jobless sucks, geng. It hurts my brain and mental health. Too much free time isnt good.
I hope no one around me is facing what I am facing. I hope Allah bless you all with solutions, ideas, rahmah and protection, always geng. Do take care of yourself ya!
ps : to my silent and loyal readers, i dont want to know who you guys (exactly) are, but I hope Allah will count you reading my blog as an act of kindness and concern towards me so that He can debit pahala to you. thank you for the loyalty, i hope y'all show up during my funeral too and make lots of doa for me ok!! love you guys!
I resigned 1 December haritu. Emosi jugak sesi terakhir aku tu. Tapi fuck it, Im going to resign anyway. Idk what are other things that this company will make me do. I talked to other staff they said the same thing happen. So aku tak boleh nak percaya janji manis dari superior.
Janji taknak bg aku involve dlm those things lah..
Nak bagi aku job position baru lah..
Nak atur job scope baru lah..
Kepala hotak. Save it, I dont want those janji manis lol. Im not a kid who they can fool around ok.
Walaupun sebenarnya aku dihimpit rasa risau sangat kalau tak dapat kerja yg kena dgn jiwa. Aku rasa bidang sales & marketing mmg akan ada buat kerja tak beretika (eg : tipu customer etc). Tak lah semua bidang or company, but tendency tu ada. Actually semua kerja pun is vulnerable to unethical conduct, tapi kalau benda tu dh jd norm dlm industry or company, sorry lah, I'd rather be jobless.
Sejujurnya, the thought of being jobless is really not healthy for my brain. Apatah lagi nak decide which industry I should go to. Or what to do with my life lah basically.
Ya Allah payah.
Aku rasa clueless sangat apa nak buat dgn hidup. Aku tak tahu kerja mana, what industry, what should I do, what do I wanna be 5 years forward, how much do I wanna earn. Weh overthinking ni menyakitkan doh.
Ada tahap aku sampai fikir, omg kalau dapat suami tak guna (nauzhubillah. semoga jodoh baik2 di mana shj dia berada), aku kena tanggung anak2, mcm mana doh kalau dari sekarang aku takda career yg stable?
Kau nampak tak tahap overthinking aku ni dah extreme sangat. Hahahaha. Aku rasa nak lempang diri sendiri. Rasa nak menangis semua pun ada lah.
Serabut jugak aku bila jumpa extended families, they'll be asking about me and I have to explain all over again. Like as if all these overthinking sessions aren't enough...
I sometimes I question where is God taking me actually? What does He want me to do? Why have I not feel happy with the industry Im inclined to? Actually masa zaman belajar dulu, I expected all these to happen . I hated sales, marketing, finance, accounting. I love english, HR, science.
Idk lah why Im stuck in this.
Maybe what people said is true. First 10 ten years after graduation, you will not get to do what you really enjoy. Yeah, some people are lucky they got it. But for some of us, we dont.
Until I reach a point, wtf I wanna do with life la wey?
Should I start freelancing as wedding photographer?
Should I find vacancy at any kindergarten or school that I can teach english?
Should I work with catering business?
All these 3 things are what I thought a lot about because these give me a flick of happiness.
Catering? Yeah, I dreamt of owning a catering business because I love food hahahaha. Tak concrete langsung reason. If I wanna start the business, I needed capital.
Eh memang senang je boleh mintak ayah, tapi kalau lingkup business nya, tak ke malu dgn ayah?
Wedding photographer? hmm, i need a platform to start. Got a friend who recommended to me, still thinking about it. Wtf I think about pun idk lah.....
English teacher? aku akan rasa bersalah dkt mak ayah aku sbb they fund my study 100% tapi aku ke laut.....takda kaitan dgn business. unless i open up my own english center which is.....nah. hahaha.
Being jobless made me think about what do I wanna do 10 years forward? How much do I wanna earn? How am I going to fund my bucket list trip to Cappadocia with my jodoh if I dont work? (yeah sure, lets pray my jodoh is baik hati luas rezeki dia sponsor aaminn haha), how am I going to fund my children's education fees like how my dad do it? (yeah sure, lets pray my jodoh is a reliable strong-will and hardworking father to my kids aaaminn haha)
Basically, I wanted my own savings, hence I need to work but also need to be happy.
Kau faham tak conflict aku?
Being jobless sucks, geng. It hurts my brain and mental health. Too much free time isnt good.
I hope no one around me is facing what I am facing. I hope Allah bless you all with solutions, ideas, rahmah and protection, always geng. Do take care of yourself ya!
ps : to my silent and loyal readers, i dont want to know who you guys (exactly) are, but I hope Allah will count you reading my blog as an act of kindness and concern towards me so that He can debit pahala to you. thank you for the loyalty, i hope y'all show up during my funeral too and make lots of doa for me ok!! love you guys!
Comments