BOLD & SEPET

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Just like semester 2, I am back at being better in organizing my days. When I was in semester 2, I used to jot down things per day, my aims and to-do stuffs, my life was organized and I enjoyed studying because everything is nicely organized, tak serabut despite the tough subjects. Hence, the pointer. That is my conclusion. So, Im experimenting myself again with that attitude. But ofcourse, I need to always be prepare and alert with what Im studying and update myself with it. Always ask people for things I dont understand. Figuring out alone consumes time and somehow put me in great danger. May Allah ease my final journey in this matrix life. May Allah be with me always. May Allah grant me good attitude, character and exam results. May Allah teach me to be a better person esp to those who love me. May Allah forgive us all. Dear last 9 weeks before final exam starts, bring it on :) BISMILLAH. XO, Nesayang.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم I started off my midsem break working at a shop. You see, things happened when we least expect it and to cut the story short, I was fooled by an indian lady that she took away my 4s. Now, I dont have phone. This midsem break is definitely something that I would never forget. When that incident happened, I was shocked and scared. I got better when everyone arrived at my workplace to calm me down. I started to laugh and be like normal though there are times that I would just keep mum because few things got into my mind and it frustrated me.  What bugged me the most is how certain people blame me for things I didnt know. I wasnt allowed to serve the customer outside my work compound. I was just thinking that it'd be a  favor from us to that indian lady. I swear I didnt know that and to be scolded for such act is more frustrating than losing a phone. I wasnt calmed down but pressured more. You know, when you are in that kind of situation, you ne...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم It has been so long since the last time I updated this blog via laptop. Kinda miss it though. life has been... well, pretty challenging for me. Truly challenging. Last sem result was disastrous, left my purse at home and had to starve myself, Nenek was admitted because she ate nothing for weeks, Idk why.  Had few personal issues that are very torturing. Had to deal with the fact that I lost friends, technically. Had to deal with the fact that someone betrayed me. Checked my MUET result and it wasn't as remarkable as people expected. Basically, I am at the pinnacle of downfall. I am still wondering what the heck is wrong with me. My momentum has been drowning since last semester. Everything is very frustrating. I had hard time trying to be redha and move on from what Allah has written for me. Yes, still struggling. It's easy to say "you need to move on fast, got future awaits", but what is the essentials that I need to fathom for mysel...

. Isnin. Smlm (ahad) aku sampai asrama lambat dan aku sgt penat. Jd aku tk fikir pape, terus start my day (Isnin). Tk prepare ah senang cite. Nasib kerja week 6 dh settle. Tp aku tahu week 7 ni kerja mesti mcm gunung meninggi. Biasa lah, nak exam, matrix life mmg gitu. Lg nk exam, lg belambak kerja kau. Masa sikit. Astaghfirullah, merungut hehe.  Tk leh blahnya, aku dgn confident nk top up rm30 utk internet, ttba baru aku sedar purse aku tkda. Haaaaaa elok sgt. Baru isnin, makan pasir la jawabnya. Sigh! Tinggal dlm kereta rasanya.. Bertabah lah mkn oat sepanjang weekdays ni. Selasa. Harini aku belajar : 1) jgn cepat terasa hati sgt. 2014 adalah hari yg aku azam tknk terasa hati. Biasalah bila kau azam, Tuhan mesti hntr ujian nk tgk jitu tak azam kau. Seharian penat aku pujuk diri "jgn distracted dgn sekitar kau, work hard, smile often, ingat Allah, ingat universiti kau nk kejar". 2) member lupa kau tkpa, jgn kau lupa member. 2014 adalah tahun yg aku nk cuba jd member yg baik....

Pagi ni aku bangun, bersiap nak balik ke Johor tengok nenek. Ttba syok aku scroll Padgram, mata aku tertarik dkt gmbr Istanbul. Cantik tempat ni. Dulu cerita Istanbul, Aku Datang tu pun dh boleh nmpk tmpt ni cantik. Ewah, memandai kau je.. -__-" Istanbul, Aku datang. Kau tunggu aku kumpul duit.  Aku nak gerak Amsterdam dulu baru aku melawat kau. Hehehehe. Ticket pegi Istanbul ni aku tengok ada lah dlm 3k. Gilos betulzzz, degree nanti kena pulun doh sem 1. Scholarship adalah harapan utama aku hehe! Guna duit scholarship lah jawabnya nak travel. Pandai2lah kau hidup, nisa. Chaiyokkkkkk!! Ini semua Adam punya kerja, dia la bg influence! -_-" Impian sebelum umur 25! Places I want to go : - whole Europe - Istanbul Ya Muhaimin, make ease of my journey to travel and learn :) P/S : mana la tahu dpt chance travel dgn jodoh tersayang :p amboi kau nisa!!! Hehehe

You might be at the other side of the world trying to figure the journey Allah has planned for you. You might be working hard as I am here in my room. Im doing chemistry mind map. A thought of you came when I listened to a song by Hafiz Hamidun. I wonder where are you now... That is a song that totally reminds me of you. The lyrics. Perhaps I get the chance to meet you, perhaps few minutes before I leave for the next journey up there, perhaps I get to grow old with you, withstand your anger and soothed by your tenderness.  At the other side of the world, you might be praying to Allah now. Perhaps you sit on your prayer mat, pondering upon life. I wish you knew that Im here, my name is written right next to yours.  Perhaps works or assignments make you depressed, I silently ask Allah to make ease of your journey. Couldnt stand looking at you frowning though..  At the other side of the world, you might be hungry at this hour. I wonder what would you do to feed that tummy. O...

Hari pertama 2014 bermula dgn bagus alhamdulillah. Pegi melawat Umi, lecturer aku yg tgh sakit dkt Hospital Selayang. Tapi bila sampai malam je, byk betul benda uji kesabaran aku. Benda simple je pun. Contoh : 1) iron board yg dh jahanam menambah jahanam lagi tudung aku utk kelas esok. 2) perangai certain manusia yg ntah lah, nauzubillah. Kalau aku salah, aku mohon Allah bayar cash. I dont mind, seriously. I need to grow and accept critism, be loving and considerate. Kena tolak tepi parasites camtu. Haih.. 3) rules KMS yg baru telah mengatakan bahawa tkde student blh balik bilik waktu kuliah until 12pm. Kelas pagi ke, ada break in between classes ke, kau tk blh balik bilik melainkan lps 12 tgh hari. Aku tk tahu ni kolej ke penjara. Allah sabar lah aku.. Susah gilos nak istighfar bila marah sbb aku more rasa nak mencarut. Sigh. Batal azam. Haiyohhh.. Astaghfirullah.. Astaghfirullah.. Moga kalian tak mcm aku. Nisa, ampuni semuanya. Tkpa lambat, lain hari laju la tu. Tkpa camtu, lain hari...

Aku sebenarnya berat hati nk menginjak ke umur 20an. Aku rasa mcm aku masih budak lagi hahahaha. Tp 20an bermakna hidup moves forward and what is past will always be past.  Semoga aku jd seorang yg hatinya baik. Adam kata dia mula2 jatuh sayang dkt aku sbb hati aku. Tp aku rasa 2013, hati aku byk tercalar so dia jd tak berapa nk cantik. Mungkin 2014 adalah sesi mencantikkan hati.  Selamat 20an, nisa. Welcome to another face of life. Be bold!  :)

. Today will be the last day of 2013. Frankly, there's so much that I have learned in this year. Too much that I cant organized it here hahahaha 1) it's okay to ask. I learned to ask. Specifically, to be brave to ask. In life, there is no such thing as stupid question. Ask away if you want to. 2) who we are today resemble the future generation. Whenever i sit and ponder, i'll be thinking what changes should i make and start to think of my weaknesses that i have. I wanted a better quality of life. I wanted to be better than who i was, i wanted my children to look at me as an example and hence i needed to start changing from day to day. I resemble my children, i tried to be better. 3) be better than yesterday will make you a better person everyday. I set goals everyday and for each goal achieved (even the simlplest ones), i am happy and proud. A better Anisah for the future. 4) health is like a crown that only the sick knows its worth. I used to be hospitalized for every 4 ye...

My traveling tips  (esp for muslimah yg belum kahwin) : - study dulu. About route kau. Route MRT, jln nk ke hotel/hostel etc. Estimate masa so that kau tk balik lmbt (for girls who travel in group/alone).  - beli kad MRT/LRT that country  (ala mcm touch n go tu) and its map. Yes, sbb kau nk jimat masa. Plus kalau kena beratur lama nnti kau stress. Make sure balance cukup dlm kad tu. Map MRT/LRT tu penting gak, just in case kau perlu rujukan on the go. Dkt Sgpore dia akan bg sekali map tu if kau beli ticket.  - sediakan duit kecik. Just in case kau tk beli kad, senang nk beli ticket MRT/LRT guna duit kecik sbb certain machines tak terima dollar etc yg besar. Basic. Mcm dkt Msia. - tak payah kabut. Be it nak kejar train ke amende pun lah, tk pyh. Kau relax je. Kejar pun still kena beratur. Tk salah nk kejar but chill, kau dtg nk cuti, bkn rushing over things. Cukup lah dkt Msia. Knp jgn rushing? Haa sbb masa tu lah otak kau tk focus. Masa tu la terbuang botol (utk bers...

. As Im typing this, I am on my way to Batu Pahat to visit nenek. Such a bliss. Getting to write stuffs that happened this week while in a long journey and listening to good music such as Lana Del Ray and Boyce Avenue. This week has been testing me in and out to the degree whereby I sat on my prayer mat each time after prayer and thought of the same things all over again. These thoughts lingered and never left.  Im in semester 4 (final sem in matrix) and last tuesday, the result of semester 3 was released. I know what I have gone through during sem 3. It was the toughest. The fact that madame Fairuz isn't our chemistry lecturer anymore really killed me virtually. She's the best ah. Not to say that I am not grateful but I can not grasp the new lecturer. Hence, the struggle.  Summing up, CGPA dropped and my heart wrecked.  Imagine yrself getting DL and the next semester yr GPA dropped below 3.00? Bummer! ...dan masa tu Tuhan ajar aku makna redha. Pernah satu masa aku tulis ...

. Minggu ni aku kelam kabut sbb kejar syllabus yg laju gila hanya kerana bulan ni hari rabu byk tkda kelas so lecturers mmg mcm bullet train dlm lecture, aku tk sempat angkat tgn nk tanya depa dh move next subtopic -_- result exam pun dah nak release. Cuak jugak sbnrnya. Takut tak mencapai target. Tapi rasanya baik aku tarbiah hati ni supaya redha awal2 :p kang tk bersyukur pulak. Ye lah, apa Allah bagi, tu lah yg terbaik. Tarbiah hati, nesa.. tarbiah. Akhirnya, bilik yg lebih privacy utk semester akhir di matrix! Syukur alhamdulillah byk perkara yg aku attempt. Aku cuba nk attempt byk perkara lagi. Benda kecik2 je pun. Tapi bila accomplished tu aku rasa puas. Contoh, taknak tidur masa break semata nk buat one-page note utk nota chapter Z. Contoh. Ewah kau, dah jadi nerd skrg ni. Syukur alhamdulillah sbb aku mampu tabah jd nerd setiap masa dkt bilik asyik nk update kerja. Sbb dulu zaman sekolah, utk balik rumah dan buat kerja adalah something yg sgt asing utk aku. Ruma...

Officially, November 26th marked the first day of my final semester in matriculation and everyone is hyperventilating about it. I started my final semester with few things that I needed to catch up and adapt. The management is changing our room. That means, we, the seniors who had to cramped in one room located at ground floor have to survey any vacant bed in other level because they'll be revamping our current room back to its former usage which is study room. I had hard time roaming around searching for vacant room, knocking on doors, facing kerek juniors who think they play kerek better than me without knowing that I play kerek the best among my friends hahahaha (ok poyo, ampun ya Allah). Day one drifted so fast that I was so happy imagining if everyday was like that hahahaha!  Met the new juniors (current roommates), thank God they were all polite people. Well, at least, at the beginning :p Heck, as long as they stay clean and respect each other, Im all good. Idc if they...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم WARNING : POST PANJANG.  Semalam muet. Usually bila aku exam, adam memang pesan mcm2. Kalau aku nervous, mmg aku cari dia sbb dia tahu nak membebel apa hahaha. So malam ktorg otp. Jarang ktorg dpt otp lama sbb masing 2 ada duty sendiri on the next day, so kena tidur awal. As for him, dia subuh lagi dh grk pergi kerja. Aku, subuh tu bangun utk study/mandi/pegi surau. Pukul 8-4pm biasanya kelas berjalan mcm biasa, sometimes extend. Malam pun ada kelas. So boleh kata jarang aku dgn adam nk contact secara frequent. Harapkan otp sebelum tidur or sebelum pergi kerja/kelas je lah. Malam semalam otp almost 2 jam, so much of things that we talked about. Lama jugak la ktorg tak borak deep psl serious stuffs camtu. Somehow aku rindu adam. You know that feeling walaupun kau cakap everyday dgn dia, tapi still rindu. Eh? ke aku je yg ada perasaan camni? Hahahaha! Stress released when I talked to him. Dia macam kawan baik, kaki gossip. Sometimes tak r...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم I didnt expect MUET to be that exhausting. The exam was from 8am-12.30pm, straight with only 10 minutes of break for each paper. I have 3 papers and those are reading, writing and listening. Not sure whether I am qualified to score as what madame expected. I was clearly exhausted. Thank you Allah for my seat was right under the fan. Too bad I was sleepy and in rush. My 350 words essay was a mess. Report was not convincing. Listening was a total disaster right from the beginning. I guess I can only do the talk. Mmm.. what la.. sigh. Nevertheless, life goes on. God knows how I feel so at ease right after muet ends. Such solace when I lay on my bed, blank state of mind, thinking of fun stuffs to kill the time before semester 4 starts this monday. So yeah, I headed back home :p Shah Alam, thanks for having me hahaha! You know, the dexterity of going back home despite every rule the college has set up for us is really something I am so proud of. I just ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Pertama sekali, aku tak berminat nak tgk video dia. Aku tak tahu dia siapa.  Tapi tergerak hati nak tengok sbb Syida duk post dkt IG pasal dia.  Clearly, there must be something. Jadi aku pegi youtube. Im telling you, the 24 minutes  of time I spent watching this video  is totally worth it. His journey reflected me.  Left me in blank state of mind. Asking myself what the heck have I been doing  all this while? He's 20 and already serving for the ummah. While I did nothing.  Lagi aku complaint byk psl life ada lah.  He must be so special in the Eyes of Allah. Allahurabbi. Often do I ask myself, with all these sins I keep on doing..  will I be able to have the chance to meet Allah?  You know, not all servants will be able to see Him.  Yes, we'll meet Him but not all of us will have such  specialty to look at His Face. Also Rasulullah SAW. And watching the video someh...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم I still remember the first day I enrolled in KMS. The moment I was queuing and looking around, staring at those anxious faces, ready to get their name registered. I know nobody at that time except for few of friends from school. I enrolled in KMS with the rumors saying that life in matriculation is one hell of a journey. It's tough. It's fast learning system. You gotta work fast, absorb fast, adapt faster. I remember coming back from class, crying because it was mentally exhausting. That was semester 1. I settled in during semester 2 where I was doing better than semester 1. Being among DL student is really shocking and that explains why semester 2 was better than 1. I settled in quite better. Everyone was doing even better during semester 2. Baru balik exam. Semester 2 . Semester 3 drifted away too fast that I didn't realize I have been in  KMS for 3 freaking semesters and I survived.... quite well (despite few times that I wa...