BOLD & SEPET

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  WARNING : LONG BLOG POST. I grow up with boys. Im the only daughter in the family. I was born as a hyperactive, rough, harsh but childish person, that's why a lot of people can't tell that Im actually older than them or how I looked or act. Yes, it feels good when people think that Im younger because I looked a bit chinese (some say I have that babyface look -ye sila muntah), I sounded like doraemon (that's why Hajar named me Nisamon) and I act like cartoon sometimes (a friend once called me Hello Kitty -__-) Being a rough girl is my norm. I always thought that Im just a self-proclaimed boyish girl until my theater coaches pointed out that I have that rigid and rough attitude in me. Ye lah, kantoi sbb tak reti jadi Maziah yg girlish gedik manja. But my aunts already pointed it out since I was a lil kid. I used to have that boyish haircut and that was freedom hahaha. Despite that, I have a very girlish family name which is 'Anis'...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  WARNING : LONG BLOG POST .  Finally, it ended. Im actually waiting for this routine to end because I was in a partial torture to bring out the lady-like  trait in me which Im sure I had to dig real hard until Maziah became a real gedik manja mengada girl. (apabenda siak ayat serabut camni haha). Aku bawak watak Maziah, anak Datin Maimun yg gedik manja girlish, yg cinta kan anak Haji Suhaimi, iaitu Hadi tapi Datin Maimun dan Hj Suhaimi ni tak sehaluan, asyik gaduh, so Aku dgn Hadi stuck in between. Gitu lah. I feel proud with how organized (sometimes), honest, hard working, talented, helpful, friendly they were during the time we worked hard to ensure that this show went well. They were a bunch of kids who are really easy to work with and I see everyone was developing their focus and were helping out each other. MashaAllah. the matrix scene whereby i cant move while the boys had their dialogue. crdt to : Dayah :) actors ft ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Hi. Aku mungkin gila sebab blogging at this hour about this but takpa, aku memang random mcm ni sometimes. So, mari sambung. At the age of 21, aku mungkin tahu, sedar dan boleh tolerate with this one fact. Fact that hati seorang wanita memang senang terbuai. Terutama dengan lelaki. Just as easy as how boys went head over heels for girls. Tapi wanita yang lebih senang terbuai hatinya. Kau caring sikit, terbuai. Kau whatsapp mesra, terbuai. Kau ajak teman, terbuai. Ini subjektif. Mohon lapangkan minda. Senang. Tapi bukan semua perempuan mcm ni. Cuma aku personally rasa kalau that girl di-approach oleh lelaki yg mmg dia sendiri suka, that girl herself akan terbuai. Alaa, you know this thing works both ways. Kau suka dia, dia bg positive respond. Hasilnya, menjadi. These days aku selalu tanya balik dkt sebuah Anisah ni, apesal la jadi perempuan ni senang sgt terbuai hati. Mmg makhluk Allah bernama perempuan je yg rasa mcm ni or lelaki...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Wahai Ar-Rahman Yang Maha Pengasih, kami menyimpan rasa dalam hati yang tidak diketahui umum melainkan Engkau. Isi hati yang kami rasakan terlalu berat utk kami ceritakan. Tapi yang tidak perlu kami ceritakan satu demi satu, kerana Engkau Maha Tahu. Wahai Ar-Rahim Yang Penyayang, setiap hari kami diberi peluang bangkit dari tidur dan ada di antara kami hidup dalam kesempitan jiwa. Kami mohon dilapangkan ruang di dalam dada ini kerana sempitnya ruang itu, menyesakkan. Kami butuh ruang dalam jiwa. Wahai As-salam Yang Maha Pemberi Ketenangan, kau jadi kan sekeping hati yang bolak-baliknya berada dalam kawalanMu, yang perit jerihnya dalam takdirMu, yang gelap kelam dan kejinya datang dari kami sendiri. Kami tak mampu kawal sekeping hati ini. Tak mampu menidakkan yang dlm diam kami iya-kan. Wahai Al-Ghafur Yang Maha Pengampun, ampuni isi hati kami yang seringkali melampau. Isi hati yang seringkali tidak setaraf dengan taatnya kami menuna...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Pertama, let me rant. POST NI PANJANG. SILA EXIT KALAU TAK BERKENAN. Semester ni, aku join teater lagi. Last semester aku join teater secara random. No background, nothing. I came with zero knowledge and experience as pelakon. It was smooth. The role was of a tomboy girl who secretly loves her best friend. Karakter tu senang utk aku grab bcz being Shah Hamdan and Anisah Ishak, there's no big difference. Aku bukan yang lemah lembut serba ayu dan sopan. But the hardest part was to cry. Well, my result flunked last semester and I decided not to join teater for this semester but my enthusiasm keeps telling me to go for it and screw me, I got a role which is just so freaking hard to grab. Karakter seorang gadis manja serba lembut, gedik, classy yang nak kahwin dgn boyfriend tapi mummy tak setuju sbb mummy tak sebulu dgn bapak boyfriend. I had to be gedik, manja, lembut at the same time. Damn. What a task. "menjadi pelakon yang baik,...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  MasyaAllah, berhabuk blog ni. Sebenarnya, aku tak kategori kan diri aku busy tahap takda masa langsung nak blogging. Blogging ni perlu kan satu masa senggang yg mana otak aku pun clear nak merepek. Blogging in rush is so not me. Ceh. Bajet. Week 11 has been quite a hard journey for me. Lets just confess it here, nisa. Okay, I joined teater lagi for this semester. Yes, a risk I took. Hahahaha. So, I was occupied with latihan teater at night. I had to jadi a real lady this time. No more Shah Hamdan, the brutal girl. This time, Im Maziah, a girlish classy anak datin who is so in love with her boyfriend, Hadi. I suck at being a real lady. I dont talk demurely. Still working on it though. This wednesday will be the full rehearsal. I must not screw this up because I saw Rahman (Hadi) work hard for his role and to sync with Maziah. Blessed to have such partner. Next, I was quit occupied with designing poster and banner for Ace Fitness, an event o...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Fact 1 : I love things that has to deal with this machine we called computer/laptop. Contoh : Final Cut Pro, Blender or even the simple Windows Movie Maker --editing softwares. Fact 2 : I FREAKING LOOOOOVE MACBOOK PRO.  Fact 3 : aku masih dlm perjalanan mengumpul duit sendiri utk my ever so lovely future boyfriend aka Macbook Pro tu.  Sila lah panggil aku spoil brat tp fyi Mak Ayah taknak pun beli kan utk aku hahahahaha. Mahal sangat, ridiculous. Kalau ikut selera aku customized Mac tu, it will cost them RM6-7k. INSANEEEE!! Hence, fact 3. Tapi aku sedaya upaya cuba pujuk Mak Ayah hahaha ok call me spoil brat. Aku tetap jugak mengumpul duit utk Mac ni. Hidup kena ada back up plan hehe. Kalau dapat free, terima. Itu rezeki.  Aku sendiri tak fhm kenapa ada manusia suka editing ni, padahal kerja ni bosan kot. Seharian duduk dpn laptop. Tapi otak kau mmg warna-warni lah (read : otak sedang gembira) sbb buat ben...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  POST INI PANJANG.  SILA EXIT KALAU TAK SUKA OK?  BYE. thanks for having me, guys! Aku sebenarnya dah quit jadi komander (tak tau nak sambung balik ke tak, dont question me) tapi nilai adik-beradik antara komander baru (KB aka junior) aka aku dgn budak 2 ni mmg umpphhh!! Hahahaha aku salahkan senior yang padu sebab instill such strong bonding among us. Mmg dlm keluarga komander, everyone is your abang adik kakak whatever, your siblings. You take care of each other. Aku agak happy ada clan camni dkt Melaka. Alhamdulillah! So, KKEC is Komander Kesatria Endurance Challenge. Dah nama komander mesti endurance harus diuji. So, kali ni aktiviti yg ada were jalan lasak, archery, frisbee, larian, cycling, etc.  Few weeks ago, aku suddenly terfikir nak gi tgk dorang, bg support. By that, I have no other solution than renting a car and drive all the way to Perak, most probably alone. Yes, it did happen. I drov...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  So, aku betul-betul mcm tgh cuti sem ni. Dont give shit about assignment, letak je atas desk tapi tak sentuh. Jujur beb. What I've been doing? Oh well, wake up, scroll FB, go downstairs for something to eat, youtube all day. Youtube makes me happy, it keeps me sane hahahaha. This semester we aren't "equipped" with study week. Yes, sucks. So it's crucial actually, but mehhh you gotta bertenang. As far as Im concerned, I have like 5 assignments that I need to settle down kot, malas recheck. Wow, shitloads of things, huh? Good luck, nisa! -__-" Time was averagely fast for me. It was a bit slow for a few days and procrastination is tiring actually. Hahahaha. Gila. I can imagine the amount of sleep hours I will get after this. Also, the eyebags. Oh have fun, nisa! -__-" goodbye calorie count.  I just found my mosssssst favourite snack which is Garrets macadamia caramel popcorn which is extraordinarily freakin supe...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  POST YG PANJANG. SILA PERGI KALAU TAK MINAT. Pertama sekali, ini bukan membuka pekung di dada tapi ini realiti yg semua org patut dah boleh terima dah. Tak semua gadis sekemas luaran nya, tak semua gadis ya. Jadi, jgn ingat yg muka cun, baju iron tajam, tudung kemas takdak herot berot, bilik kami-depa (aku serba salah, nak guna which one pun aku tak tau aihh) kemas sentiasa yaaa.  Kdg-kdg realiti tu harus dipaparkan supaya hati yg diluar sana tak bummed bila tahu realiti. Bummed tu mcm kecewa la. Aku sendiri pun bummed bila tgk diri sendiri dkt cermin. Well, kita tahu diri kita serabai takat mana, jadi jujur je lah dgn diri sendiri yaaa. Mmg tak improve diri ni in and out kalau tak be honest with yourself. before-after. boleh lahhhh. ada bezanya jugak. more space. Aku ada 25 benda nak kena update dkt diri sebelum layak jadi wife orang. Nyawa pun tak tau la sampai bila Allah nak bagi pinjam. Jadi, post ni adalah sebahagian usah...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  It has been quite a good week for me, alhamdulillah. Have started my lil efforts towards a better cgpa lol hahahaha apabenda ni. Idk where is the part I put my effort but I know this week is better than the previous ones. Baby steps, I suppose. I just can't wait for midsem break. I have high hope that midsem break would be fully utilized. How? Well, the planning part is always the fanciest -.-" So, I had to ditch planning but sticking to a motto which is "time has to be fully utilized". It's gonna be tough. Too much distractions at home. But before heading home, I will have to face 3 tests -.- Im gonna be dead. So, lets pray that everything goes smoothly for me okay? I need to get higher carry marks and a less worry during final exam. (you have no idea how cuak and stressful I was last semester due to the low carry marks for almost ALL of the subjects). It was torture. Alhamdulillah, I passed all papers. Mission accomplis...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Aku rasa bunga tu memang patut dinamakan morning glory sbb lets admit that morning has its own glory to some of us. I have always been a lover of morning skies and ambient. Kalau dekat rumah masa cuti sem (yg aku tk tido lmbt pastu bgn nk dkt zuhur), I would normally stayed up after subuh, open up the windows in my room and stare at the blank sky and listen to sound of birds chirping. Only then, hati aku jadi tenang. A good way to start my day. When I was in KMS, we had classes at 8am every single freakin day (which could be boring at times) but one of the things that I would always remember (other than the freaking delicious lontong at Orion) is how I always looooove spending my time sitting at any corner of Blok Mira while waiting for Yasmin and just stare at the stunning sky, listen to the sound of bird and just enjoy every second of it.  This thing buat aku sedar yg how terribly fast I tried to chase all the things ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Week 4 : It was another week wasted with procrastination, I guess. I haven't been productive yet. No one-page notes ever made so far. No past year questions that looked appealing to me. I went back and forth to class, balik merepeut main phone, overslept, watched movies, borak more and more. Wasted, I know. Went to Jln TAR on saturday (April 28), accompanied my housemate Syira to buy kain baju raya. Bought 2 shawls of striking colours (yellow and pink). Pehh, berapa lama aku tak beli shawls seh hahaha. Oh did I forgt to say that I had lunch with one of the most charming senior we have in UiTM KBM? Hahahaha. He won't read this, dont worry. Pffttt.  Did perform on stage for sketsa My Love From Dhaka during Malam Serangkai Mawar, an event under Kelab Warisan Budaya. I was being an amoi, probably a converted muslim amoi hahahaha. No script but we all did well despite the time constraint to practice. Ahh, the feeling of doing what...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  WARNING : BLOG POST NI PANJANG. TOLONGLAH EXIT. It's 3am and my class would be at 3-4pm esok, so Im in the mood of blogging and umm... particularly this topic right now hahaha. Oh please, at this age, I can talk about anything as long as Im still rational with it. Okay, proceed...  to me, a girl (me secara khususnya) should NOT talk/dream/plan about marriage unless if she is : able to cook able to iron baju fast and perfectly able to retain baju putih's colour able to ensure katil, locker, toilet, wardrobe, bwh katil all sentiasa bersih able to ensure that dapur all the time clean and flawless able to mingle with makcik2 aka org tua able to dukung baby and feed baby able to mengaji fluently dgn tartil beserta tajwid mastery able to make volunteer work to approach society soft at heart, firm and rigid on the outside able to give friendly tazkirah to lil kids able to explain basic essential things about islam usaha tak tinggal...

those eyes, were the highlight of my day. they were simply the reason my fudged up feeling got untangled really easily. i stared at those eyes and felt something gushing in. is this the upcoming pain? quit staring at mine. your conflicted gesture kills. you are unpredictable soul, indeed. i felt the pain gushing in, im keeping distant. but that smile though, keep pulling me back to that conflicted uncertain area. where it began

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Last week was so-so. Nothing much is interesting except for certain things. I had the chance to go back to Johor, the place I was born and raised for 13 years. Got to see how the city of Johor was decorated so beautifully for Sultan Johor's coronation. I feel proud strolling aroung the city, esp by having my family with me.  We went back to our former house. The house I used to live and spent my childhood at. Those days when life was simpler, when we aren't as lavish as now. Not that we are currently freakin lavish, but I do admit, life has been pampering me since we moved to Shah Alam back at the end of 2007. It somehow made me sad. How I have changed, how things changed. How money changed people, how life does hurt you by seeing things you just cant alter it anymore. I sat with my handsome (tak leh puji lebih, bahaya haha) senior for lunch last tuesday when he advised me and got me like ughhh where am I. I am so fudged up last semest...