Stayed Outside.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 
Setiap hari dan makin hari, aku rasa aku caught up dgn worldly things more. The more I asked to be detached, the more I am drawn near it. The more good things I asked, the more mishaps happened. The more I ponder upon how death is anytime soon, the more monstrous I became.
They said I looked cheerful but I believe we all have our own fragile spot. That is what makes us human. Dont be afraid to appear fragile, but be afraid when you constantly in denial of your own frailness. Nothing solved with denial. 
Mungkin Tuhan cuba nak cakap dekat aku yang my ultimate dependency and reliance is Him, tapi aku masih lagi kejar benda yang tak perlu, uncertain dan berpendirian sombong. Eventually, aku sendiri lost.

[sem 3, zaman matriks.]

at 2am++ today I was staying outside with my cats, when things got fudged up, I thought about everything, too deep that I weep. Poor cats have to behold such scenery. When the first teardrop rolled down my cheek as I was grasping help from The Almighty through prayers, He sent down The Help. (Allah bayar cash on the spot beb).
Allahu.
It is often terrifying when you thought about how monstrous you have been and you could be later, but He is still there, granting you all goodness in life, your prayers granted on the spot and more blessings are on their way to reach you and you still have no slight clue about it!!
Allahu. What a night.
Satu jalan yang payah lagi bagus daripada seluas-luas jalan yang mudah sebab yang payah tu buat kita beringat dekat Tuhan.  
Tapi siapa yang nak lalui jalan yang payah tu setiap masa? Allah pun tak kan kejam dgn meletakkan kita dalam sedih dan sempit selagi nyawa dikandung badan. Baru Dia cuit sikit, dah berterabur iman.
Pergi kutip iman tu sekarang. Repair sendiri. Blergh, Nangis berjemaah lah yuk?

ps : truth, the first scratch always hurt the most. ----------------
Thank you for reading!
Have a nice day! ♥