Back in Shah Alam after almost 5 months!
5.53ptg.
Aku baru sampai Shah Alam pukul 4 tadi. Cuma aku dengan Mak dari Larkin. Mak balik JB sebab nak tgk progress jalan rumah sewa dia. Alang² dia nak balik Shah Alam aku pun follow.
Harini dah genap 4 hari since aku resign (this deserves a separate blog post 😂) dari kerja kat Singapore. Rasa kosong hidup tanpa rutin ulang alik cross border hadap jem dkt tambak.
Harini jugak first time aku balik Shah Alam after almost 5 bulan. Kali terakhir aku balik, time tu ada Azizi sekali. Bulan October 2022. Almost 2 weeks jugak ktorg kt sini. Masa tu layan aku pegi interview dgn companies kt Malaysia and also online interview Singapore companies. Siapa sangka terus ktorg both dapat kerja kt Singapore mashaAllah :’)
Kali ni aku balik sorang. Azizi dah takda flexible time mcm masa dia kerja sendiri dulu. Now he’s an employee so tak boleh nak berjimba ikut aku balik Shah Alam berhari². Ni lah pengalaman pertama untuk ktorg. Berbeza bila kerja sendiri dgn jadi pekerja. Sangat berbeza. Terutama dari segi masa.
Termenung sekejap aku dalam bilik aku kt Shah Alam ni. Selalu ada Azizi, tapi as Im typing this he’s far away in another country, working ☹️
Probably lama lagi untuk aku merasa semula flexible time macam masa dekat Segamat dulu time Azizi kerja sendiri. Pernah tu ktorg decide balik Shah Alam few malam je, eh tetiba jd seminggu hahahaha. Selalu kalau balik Shah Alam lama dgn Azizi mmg every day ktorg keluar pergi jalan² sbb Segamat takda tmpt nak window shopping/jalan² . Kdg tu ktorg duduk je kt rmh parents aku kt Shah Alam ni and then petang pegi jogging atau ronda² Shah Alam. You know, just chill and enjoy the moment.
Rindu sebenarnya. Tapi life masa tu pun bukan ideal. It was mostly covid lockdown satu Malaysia. Aku cuma dpt rasa bebas travel Shah Alam-Segamat bila lockdown betul² tamat around October 2021 gitu. Setahun Allah bagi ruang dan peluang.
November 2022, aku mula kerja dekat Singapore, Azizi mula kerja December 2022. From there our routine changed. No more flexible time.
Rindunya the flexibility. MashaAllah.
Did i take it for granted before? Allahu… harap² tak. Tried my best to spend time with Azizi, my family n friends.
Dont get me wrong, Im thankful for the rezeki we both get working in SG but I just miss life before this. But it’s a decision we had to make for the betterment of our future. Syukur pd Allah sebab mudah dapat kerja and lulus permit tu. Niat kita untuk cari rezeki yang lebih baik. Aku tahu ada hikmah nya kenapa we both dekat sini. Cuma apa hikmah tu mungkin nanti Allah bagi nampak.
Aku rindu Segamat, rindu KL, rindu what I have in Shah Alam, the life, the people but I gotta accept everything.
Cuma tu lah hati rasa sayu bila fikir going forward it’s not gonna be the same. Im in that phase in life where Allah put new changes into it, I have to readjust myself and will insyaAllah see the light at the end of the tunnel (which usually takes yearssss and yearssss haha!).
Ya Allah forgive me for what I feel but I miss those times and Im thankful to You for every chance I have.
Cant wait for Rabu because Azizi is picking me up dekat Larkin naik motor balik Tiram hehe! I miss my handsome boy 🥰
Allahumma barik 😊💕
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