BOLD & SEPET

Puisi yang aku sendiri tuliskan utk lelaki yang aku suka tapi tak boleh nak miliki sbb secara hakikinya cinta tu bukan memiliki. mencintai ciptaanNya memang memerlukan aku utk sedar dekat mana posisi aku, baik di sisi dia, apatah lagi di sisi tuhan. utk cinta yang jauh, baik-baik dekat sana. baik-baik jaga dia. aku dah confess walaupun aku tahu level tak terbalasnya cinta tu mmg tinggi. tapi aku kena steady, sbb esok lusa masih byk nak kena tempuhi. nanti lah aku cerita lagi. baca dulu puisi ni. --------------------------------------- I could be yours, we could be together. Your smile, your poise and our laughter. Bring back those memories that makes me shudder. They keep me sane, they keep me stronger. Maybe i could be yours if we try a little harder, but you belong to her and i belong to the Creator. Maybe distance sucks but if we try a little harder, we thrive and finally break the barrier. Maybe that smile could be the reason that i keep do...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Semalam seperti dealnya, pukul 10malam aku lepak dgn kawan-kawan Shah Alam. Aku pun tak tahu nak panggil dorang ni apa. They say I have lots of friends, I gave in to that, therefore Idk how to categorize them (read : all of you, my friends) because most of them are school mates who know each other but dont really lepak with one another hahaha only I do that. Apparently, im everywhere! Pheww. Who says their job is hard, gotta try be Nesayang for once :p HAHAHAHAHA ok sudah lah tu being narcissistic.  But true though. It's hard to gather all of MY girlfriends at once. Last night before going to bed, I figured it out! The only way to gather everyone is through...(no people, no wedding, goshh please -_-) ...is my funeral. Everyone is invited. Hehe! (aku tak boleh nak kata tak ajakkkkk dah time tu HAHAHAHA) Yes, I do expect you guys to be there on my funeral please. Thank you. Free foods like wedding, cuma ada baca-baca ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  This morning I realized that I am not that person who can hold anger for so long but I get angry very veryyy quickly and random. Oh dear estrogen, dont fudge me. Aku, macam manusia lain, get mad pretty quickly. Aku, seperti manusia lain, bukan manusia paling sabar. Tapi aku, percaya setiap orang ada satu atau lebih points atau situasi yg kesabaran kita boleh tersebar dan berfungsi terus secara automatik. Ada certain situasi, tidak. Ada certain situasi, yes I get angry terus. How do I react when Im angry? - bising membebel - diam menjeling - mencarut kalau dah takda sabar dah - tidur kalau dah tahap menangis tahan marah lol hahahaha Tidur ni mmg ubat sementara paling mujarab pernah aku cuba. Letak kepala, terus settle beb. Kadang-kadang aku jadi confused. Tak marah kang, engko bijak kepala aku. Dah marah kang, engko kata aku serious sangat. Kesudahannya, I do what I wanna do. Takda orang lah yg nampak cantik atau handsome dal...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  I was watching Grey's Anatomy Season 1 Ep 5 when I realized that Grey's Anatomy is about Meredith GREY. The freaking last name is the title of this series and I was watching episode 5 mashaAllah lembap siak otak aku blerghhhhh. I had a good loud laugh at myself. Totally. Hahahaha. Anyway, talk about life principle. I just update this because I was reading tweets by twt_lelaki, he talked about bersihkan meja sendiri dkt kedai makan and I saw a tweet about adik Erin Malek sailang bff dia punya bf (wallahu a'lam). 1. Real women empower/support one another, to me, they are classy and high standard that way. 2. I prefer to clean up the mess I made before leaving a restaurant. At least, stack up the plates and cawan. rains Firstly, you know it's true. You get it. You know the rational, the perks, the benefit, why you hold to it and so on, which actually made you deemed to think that it is what everyone should hold to too. You ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Terfaktab bermaksud Teras Fakulti Tabloid. Bila aku cakap dkt Mak Ayah aku nak pegi Terfaktab, dorang kata kenapa lah nama kedai pelik hahaha. Fxcked up = faktab = wrongggg. Hahaha. Terima kasih brader Terfaktab sebab explain masa ktorg tgh pilih" tu. Few days ago aku ada sembang pasal benda ni. Kesudahannya aku pegi sana dgn family aku. Baru lah aku tahu kedai dorang ni takda signboard dkt luar, jadi agak sukar utk aku locate dkt mana sebenarnya. Tapi senang nak cari. Sebaris Nasi Lemak Antarabangsa, TTDI Shah Alam.  To be really honest, I am so disappointed with myself that the amount of books I read these past few years is plunging. Baca ala kadar. Beli tapi tak baca. Stop dlm tempoh yg lama. Sambung baca tapi dh lupa page sebelum nya. Macam" perangai aku ni. So apparently, Im not a book worm. Cuma tahun ni baru nak catch up balik. Really guys, we should read more. Start dgn light reading and then slowly pilih resource yang ber...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  " satu masa nanti awak pun akan jadi mak bapak " That's what they always told me. I guess they always wanted me to think carefully and think about the next generations that is yet to come. Fikir panjang. Whatever that I do now, will shape the kind of adult that I will be in the future. Those adults that we were inspired by (mostly our parents) were once like us.  Depa lagi lah power. Most of them come from rural areas (anda dikecualikan jika atuk nenek anda adalah golongan kapitalis, bangsawan, pak menteri dan sebagainya ya) but they thrived and look at where they are now. Having us as children, their booming career and so on. This morning, I went out from breakfast with Mak Ayah and we talked about Ayah's new watch, slump in oil price, bau tahi kucing bawah meja, too of much of MSG dalam kari and so much more, when I realized that my parents are beginning to treat me more like friends since the past couple of years. Dulu ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  I wrote this post sbb aku sedih tgk kawan" aku dipergunakan. So, aku nak ajak korang berfikir sikit. Ajak, bukan ajar. Ada beza di situ. 1. Pasti kan dia dah move on. Payah weh kalau dia tak move on lg lepastu kau declare dia. Sbb ada potensi iman dia terterabur semula bila ex dia tegur. Kau kena tahu ex ni kdg-kdg desperate. So, selidik dulu. Tolong tahu kau tak layak dijadikan sebagai rebound ataupun second option. Screw those people who flirt with you to make you a rebound je. Screw them.  Find somebody yg dah move on. Yg kepala dah kosong drpd masa lampau. Yg reti nak move on, bukan nya menyusahkan hati kau later on. Engko pun, sebelum nak harap dia move on, engko tu bawak-bawak lah move on kalau belum move on lagi. Byk lagi benda lain nak explore dlm hidup ni. Jgn buang masa ok? ps : Ah, tak pun, pepandai lah korang berdua didik each other supaya move on. Nak semua criteria perfect pun tak boleh ye. Help each other to move o...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  It's really amusing to read funny tweets and above all reason, this one topped them all. I really enjoy stalking my friends because of the RTs and it's the easiest medium to know my friends' whereabouts, what they are up to and most importantly, some of them dont talk to me when they are in the middle of problem, stress, sadness, heartbreak etc, but they'll tweet, so dari situ aku boleh serbu.  Although Twitter only limits to 140 characters, I still enjoy such convenience especially at times when I dont feel like blogging. But really, you gotta bear with me because at some point, I tweet a lot and it embarrasses me somehow hahaha. I also dont understand why is it hard to find my Twitter, like come on...I've been using 'nesayang' for years now :p but yeah, I get it, Im unpredictable sometimes. I salute those who found my Twitter without having me giving clues. You know who you are, aku sayang korang, korang je tak tau hah...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Wowww Wowww! Did I leave this blog unattended for a week now? I could hardly believe how fast time drift away and yesssssss finallyyyyyyyy good semester 3 has ended. Let's hope for the best. This semester has been good so far, just like typical semesters. Nevertheless I expect my cgpa to slump slightly this semester due to fact that I have a calculation subject which I despise. I dont know, lets just hope everything will be going smoothly. Im half way to finish my bachelor study. Still have 3 semesters left. I know I'll survive especially when I have a bunch of crazy friends to make me forget that I hate that course haha it's always good to surround yourself with people you can goof around with. Thank you for being my escapism guys. Im so thankful that I have all of you, BM246 C and my housemates particularly. Thank you so much. I cant wait for the next 2 semesters in Melaka with these people, it will be a great journey for me. ...

Geng. Tajuk tu propa. Aku cuma perlu teman ke Jualan Pindah Kedai by Terfaktab Media ni je, bukan teman hidup. Teman hidup tgh syok bercinta dgn org lain agaknya. Ataupun dia tgh baca blog ni kot. Behave orangnya. Hahahaha. Anyway, yg aku nak tahu sekarang ni berapa banyak lagi stok buku dorang ada dekat kedai T_T aku harap by the time aku balik cuti sem after 15Jan ni masih byk lagi stok. Especially by publisher Fixi Novo. Aku kan mat salleh wannabe, my malay not good, so I dont fancy their malay books. Hahahahaha wtf.  No lah. When it comes to malay books, I appreciate those books yg guna deep frasa melayu, ayat dan isi yg ilmiah and penulisan yg kemas. Terfaktab dan seangkatan ni publish buku yg sempoi gila, senang baca. Best mmg best tapi aku tak rasa jiwa nak membaca tu. Feeling kemelayuan tu. Richness of the language itself.  Bahasa melayu ni cantik tau tak. Sebelum aku suka English, aku suka Bahasa Melayu dulu. But oh well, *flip tudung* i kan mat salleh wannabe lol hah...

I was  scrolling Twitter, I found these twitpics. Aku harap Allah permudahkan urusan mereka berdua ni. Semoga anak" dorang  membesar dgn baik. Semoga ada rezeki dorang beli kereta baru terus. Semoga dorang tak pernah berlapar.  Iskk iskkk.. Exam kadang" buat aku jd emotional T_T emotional sebab aku sendiri tak tahu aku mcm mana nanti, duk bayangkan mcm mana dorang hidup sederhana tapi aku dekat sini senang lenang, aduhai. Kalau lah aku kaya boleh beli kan kereta utk dorang, aku beli kan. Tak payah berhenti tunggu hujan camni selalu T_T But it's not that bad afterall kan? They still can commute.  Semoga Allah limpahkan rezeki. Jgn lah dorang takda duit sampai tak makan T_T Ah apabenda la siak fikir jauh sgt. Damn final exam.... -_- Jgn emosi sgt nisa, sikit" je boleh k.  Hahahaha.

Semalam habis paper Geography. It was so-so. Kalau lulus memang power. Subject yg sgt menarik tapi study last minute dia jadi berselirat dalam kepala aku. InsyaAllah boleh lepas.  Balik dari paper tu, satu rumah mereput. Half of us tengok Dilwale. Aku baru nak tengok Harry Potter yang the deathly hallows part 1 tu. Gila. Im the queen of procrastination. Harry Potter ni aku plan patut settle time matriks dulu. Tengok lah dah degree baru mula.  Grew up watching this trilogy though. Somehow aku kena delay benda" seronok macam ni sebab nanti aku attached sangat. Obsessed. Harry Potter je satu"nya cerita yang aku boleh repeat 10juta kali pun takpa. Tapi the fact that aku tak pernah dapat tgk Harry Potter dkt movie tu sedih sikit. Ala screen besar, sound system power, best la kot. Tgk dkt laptop pun aku rasa mcm nak masuk dlm laptop tu join Hermoine, Ron dgn Harry cari Horcrux.  Haa tak tau kan apa tu Horcrux? Kau tak minat Harry Potter la maknanya tu. kahkahkah! Tahu dah apa n...

Just now... Perbualan antara aku dan Azfa Aqilah aka Jepa. (I hope I spell her name correctly hee). "Ala taknak ah baca" pegi depan toilet.. "Ala taknak ah mandi" aku yg mcm terdampar dkt hall pun menyampuk.. "Semua benda taknak, pegi kahwin lah Pa" dia jawab.. "Nisa, mak aku kata aku dh 21 tahun ni. Dh boleh kahwin" "Amboi. Habistu aku 22, dh boleh kahwin ke belum?" "Kau tak boleh. Boyfriend pun kau takda" Tak. Guna. Hahahahahaha. Sabor je aku dgn Jepa ni. Direct sungguh. Tapi takpa aku masih cool walaupun dalam hati aku fully aware that what she said is true. This is probably the longest period that I've been single. Gosh I hate that phrase. Sounds so desperate hahaha.  Maybe someday when my children ask... "Mommy, have you achieved anything in life before us?" "Emmm, well sweetie... I was single until I met Daddy? Lets consider that as an achievement boleh? Hahahaha" *check personal goals check list*...

Semalam petang kan aku mereput habis dengan Hajar. Pegi Demaira makan roti bakar sambil tunggu Java Chips aku yg aku kirim dkt Jepa and the gang. Mmg ke laut azam nak run and read more. Susah rupanya ada resolution ni. Tapi tak mengapa, slow progress is better than no progress at all. Kan?  Sometimes running helps me to sleep better at night. Walaupun aku sememang lah manusia yang senang tidur, ada jugak hari yg payah gila. Contoh mcm smlm. Gila betul. Ada paper pkl 9am tadi, pkl 4am lebih aku tak leh tidur. Scroll fb dan seangkatannya. Pffftttt. (Belanja sikit view masa jogging tadi) So this evening I spent some time doing 20min HIIT (high intensity interval training) and 15min slow jog. Okay lah tu. Berat ah nak bersenam lama-lama hahahaha. Org yg pipi terlebih muatan je faham perasaan ni.  I used to hate running but masa dekat matriks rasa seronok tu datang sendiri. Maka berjogging lah aku sendirian, biasanya camtu lah sbb nak ajak yg lain, aku bukak pintu bilik semua tidur...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Memang benda paling bosan dan cliche setiap kali masuk tahun baru adalah berkaitan dgn resolution, iaitu azam tahun baru. Ah lets be honest lah, aku sendiri lupa aku ada azam ke tidak masa 2015. Tapi sebenarnya bagus jugak kalau ada azam and bila aku kata aku ada plan utk 2016, itu pun dah kira mcm azam jugak. Cuma ada dua benda yang aku tekan kan : - Run - Read I wanna do these 2 things more than I did previously. Itu je lah azam aku yang paling terang jelas dan nyata sekali. Yg lain tu when the time comes, we shall look more closely. Plan banyak sangat pun bosan. Baik live the moment ye Anisah.   Lets rock 2016 guys !!!!! Dream big and make things happen! Thank you for reading! Have a nice day! ♥

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  Tahun depan umur dah reach 22, aku rasa mcm baru dua bulan lepas I turned 16. Ya Allah dah membesar rupanya kau ni Anisah hahaha. Anyway, since the past 5 years, every year mesti ada ups and downs punya lah. I learnt a lot for those ups and downs. 2010 : broke up with my ex, I was so pasrah back then and now it turned out to be the main joke each time aku lepak dgn homebuddies hahaha. 2011 : senior year, could have done better in SPM, should have known what I wanna be in future.  2012- 2014 :  met my 2nd family which made me feel eternally thankful to Allah (D2M2T1), date a guy yg tak wujud, befriended dgn manusia perangai keji padahal aku hormat and percaya dia. 2015 :  takda tahun yg paling best dalam hidup aku sebab semua tahun ada highlight nya yang tersendiri. so tahun ni punya highlights adalah : - I decided to take one step closer towards my dream - I had tbh with my ex (yg wujud haha) that we should end the re...

4.30am. Look closely, ada satu bintang dkt center atas gmbr ni. On random sleepless nights, aku enjoy kira bintang dkt langit. Senyap dan sunyi. Tenang pun tenang. Lama tak tgk langit penuh bintang. Last time masa dekat kampung Batu Pahat. Aku rasa cm speechless jap sbb rare gila ah dapat tgk langit penuh bintang. Cantik beb. Life mmg camtu. Terlalu laju masa berjalan, hidup penuh dgn commitment and distractions, and gradually some things begin to be less familiar to us. Then comes what we say as taking things for granted.  Haih.  Apa jadah, baik aku tido.

(Excuse my horrible handwriting, I was supposed to be a medical doctor hahaha) 29december 2015 - 15january 2016. Semoga pointer naik lagi semester ni. Semoga tak tidur je masa ada gap between papers. Semoga tak termenung dlm dewan exam. Semoga doa yang baik" mengiringi aku ke dalam dewan exam. Aaminn. Doakan tau! :)

Benda paling sangat indah adalah bila housemate kau baru balik lepastu dia belanja roti canai kosong yg padu utk satu rumah. Terbaik betul. Aku ni dah la mamak addict. Kalau dkt Shah Alam memanjang la layan nasi kandar Pelita dgn Dhania. (Gambar tak menyelerakan sbb jari aku penuh kari masa snap ni) (Kuah favorite haruslah kari instead of dhal) I dont mind if I have to eat dekat mamak on most days of a week. Memang dasar peminat kari. I remember time kecik dulu bila arwah nenek tanya  "Anis nak makan apa?" "KARI DAGING! ANIS NAK KARI DAGING!" sambil teruja tgk arwah nenek dekat dapur. Skrg dekat Melaka, aku simpati dgn bebudak ni sebab pernah sekali tu aku asyik nak makan dkt Subaidah (sejenis mamak jugak) je dlm seminggu. Hahaha tragis.  Should imply mamak-date. Siapa sudi?  Eh. Bye. (Aku dh agak dh, mesti rajin aku update blog time tgh serabut nk final exam ni. Tabah ye kawan-kawan)

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  If you know me personally, you know I am not really enjoying my time as a student of Bachelor in International Business. It's a do-able course, easy and fun to learn but minat aku ke tempat lain, so jiwa dan raga aku sentiasa takda dekat course ni. Aku mungkin lagi rela duduk dekat matriks walaupun most people rasa matriks sangat tough, at least lebih banyak benda aku minat -english, kimia, sains komputer, fizik. No, not a big fan of pure numbers though. Amek IB ni ada accounting, finance and quantitative analysis, calculation lah, lagi lah hmmmm hmmm pishang~   Esok dah start final exam utk semester 3 ni. Dah setahun setengah rupanya aku buat benda aku tak enjoy. Tahniah Nisa sebab tak buat apa-apa with it -_-" Bukan entirely idea aku nak buat course ni. Bukan idea parents aku jugak. Aku cuma nak pesan dekat kawan-kawan, bagi suggestion dekat orang boleh, tapi jgn dictate/force people to do something just because you think it's go...