Life Speeds Forward

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 
Peace be upon Prophet Muhammad, his companions and family :)
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Final examination is within few days. Aku rasa tak percaya weh. Dh nk habis sem 1 dh. Makin tua dh diri hamba. Well, growing up isn't as suck as I thought it'd be. Tapi tu la, dugaan and tekanan tu dtg bila dia nak kan? Suka hati dia je. Sebagai hamba, mmg kau kena get ready ah. Aku ni pun tak tahu ah apa rupa masa dpn aku. Ckp psl work hard mmg mudah la dkt bibir, lu cuba la amek tmpt hamba ni. Sesak dada jugak la..
Eh aku rasa mcm lama seh tak merepek dkt blog sendiri. Buat masa ni blog tgh private, so senang hati aku nk merapu sbb tk public semua org blh baca. Semak gak ah sbnrnya sbb privacy aku mcm diancam. Ceh, ayat.. 
Aku tk tahu ah mcm mana nk final exam ni. Rasa mcm what the heck have i prepared? None. Aku pun tk tahu ah. Kepala serabut. Poyo bajet amek medic je padahal matrikulasi je pun hahaha. Nmpk tk gelabah aku dkt situ? :p 
Sejujurnya aku tak tahu apa aku buat 5 bulan dkt KMS. Aku byk merepek je rasa. Tk byk mencari. Mencari di situ bermaksud muhasabah. Pehhh aku melalut byk seh. Jauh menyimpang.. Ah, mental. Gila kau, tahu? Aku tk dpt cari lg jiwa dkt KMS. Meaning, tkda benda aku minat dan mampu jiwai. Ya Allah mcm mana nk menjiwai tanggungjawab and get good result? -__- If I were to think to just do it as mere duty, I can't.. oh god, aku merepek apa niiiiiiii -____-"
Menjiwai.
Hoi let me do things I ❤ and let me ❤ what I do laaaaaa.
Problem is?
Aku sendiri tk tau apa aku suka. Mcm byk sgt. Sighhhhh.. Sucks being nesa..
If  a person ask me now what do I want to be in the future or what course I aim for my degree, the answer would be a definite I DON'T KNOW.
Because the only thing I know is if I flunk at matriculation, my dream course/career would just be a mere dream. True. I can not just merely get cukup cukup mkn. Chemical/mechanical engineering requires me to get stable pointer. Same goes to Law or Medic. Hellooooo, see how conflicted is my mind!!! What do I want to be? Which course?
Cut the crap,
Get real.
Matriculation program, be it one-year or two-year program are both tough. Our challenge is time. Idk how am I going to do it, but what I know is Im gonna survive. I dont want to care about the pointer because focusing at my effrt is what crucially matters. I have few days left. They say semester one is crucially important, yeah regarding the cumulative yadayada. Oh God, pengsan..
ARY has been soooooo utterly patient with me pestering him about my daily life hahaha. Idk whether he can still cope or not :p 3 semesters left, baby. Are you ready for this journey with me? :)

I don't put high hope for this semester's pointer because my effort, attitude and behaviour are still settling in -___-" very the lembab.. You know, being consistent is tough. So yeah, for these last few days bfre exam, I pray so that everything will be just fine and there is sonething to learn from every hurdle given. 

Till then,
Aku nak tidur hehehe. 

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