Susahnya menangis.

[Via apps]

Ahad smlm aku ada latihan lg mcm biasa. Cuma lebih intense. Shah perlu meraung level 10, max. Otak aku jem teruk bila babak tu.

Tapi di bantu oleh Man dan Ily, aku menangis dpn cermin sampai tersedu-sedan. Tak ingat bila aku last nangis teruk camtu. Its just so hard to shed tears these days.

That's when I realized that my feelings dah numbed. I get too engrossed with crying and now I'm immune. Not even my problems can make me cry.

Aku rabak menangis sbb cerita from Man and Ily. Padu sgt.

What makes me cry even harder was how much I realized that I have been blessed with such a smooth life. Maybe la ada bumps here and there but not as much as others. I cried harder when I realized there were things yg fixed and I can't change, things or people I can't own or etc and I realized how much Allah loved me for I have been blessed with blissful family, good health, good friends, enough food and water etc. Allahurabbi...

I cried harder at that.

Bila aku sedar yg aku disayangi oleh korang and Allah sent you guys for me, I continue crying in gratitude (not just grief).

Menangis sbb syukur pd Allah ni lebih deep. Aku selalu berharap butiran air mata gratitude ni akan jd tukang padam api neraka yg membakar aku nanti, nauzhubillah..

Pada setiap mata yg tenang, pasti tersembunyi jalan hidup yg perit. Pada setiap jiwa yg lapang, pasti pernah dihimpit sedih.

Who they are today is formed from who they were.

Ambil masa utk lihat sekeliling dan dengar isi hati orang lain sbb kdg-kdg, kita sibuk cerita psl diri sendiri, live our own life, kita igt kita on track padahal jauhhhhhh tersasar dah. Not even our solat can lead us straight. It's what the heart decide to feel, what the ears decide to listen to, what the mind decides to resolve that lead us straight to Him.

Selamat malam, wahai jiwa yg rapuh.

-Nesayang, 2014.

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