Catching a Feeling.

It felt horrible to start catching a feeling for someone. For me, it has been 7 years since I last felt like this. Like I am attached to somebody who doesnt even know how I feel and I dont ever intend to tell it yet. Catching a feeling is something, detachment is also another thing. Like I suddenly feel horrible if things didnt end up like fairytales --happily ever after or a good bright future. Such detachment is the worst. Like I already own it but no Im not. Im not even grasping it but I could already feel it but it's not there for real. What lah.....blerghhhh...

Catching THIS feeling for someone after 7 years sucks so badly.

I once had a crush on someone (it's a different 'someone' btw) that I kept it to myself since 2008. I confessed in 2015. From 2008 to 2015, I never allow myself to be attached to this fella cz I know it will hurt me like hell. Im glad I did and it didnt hurt me so much even after I told him what I feel --Im a smart girl and yes he politely rejected me haha boo nesa.... (hey, at least Im brave enough to confess :p)

7 years ago, I caught this feeling with my wall-climber ex boyfriend. The horrible feeling when I truly realize that I DO NOT own this creature and therefore I CAN lose him. and the feeling when things DO NOT feel the same if I were to do it with someone else. Horrible feelings. It is as if replaceable-lity has to be on the list; I cant be too attached.

I know right....overthinking.

It's not like this particular person right now know what I feel. Duh nesa.......

But yeah, it has been SOOOOO long since the last time I felt THIS horrible! Wow, I nearly forgot how it feels like to really love again. Haha! 7 years I stopped loving someone as much as I did with that ex boyf. Love hurts, indeed. (yeah, especially when you overthink. Duhh.....)

if The Jodoh ever reads this post, I somehow need him to delay himself cz fml, I need to sort these thoughts first before falling in love for real again. Hahahaha!

Catching feeling sucks, geng.
IT SUCKS! hahahaha!

*start putting up walls and forts*


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